Friday, February 13, 2009


The girl was heavy into Jeff; she knew it, we knew it. Much beers later, you had half a mind to tell the kid because he obviously wasn't gonna get it on his own. Snakeland was good for beers and bong hits - no one ever there except homeless dudes. And snakes. The part by the water you could huck the bottles in; dig the splash, then the echo of the splash. The empty grain elevators were a wall between us and the cops, all floor holes and broken glass. Pretty sweet. The girl was totally listening to Jeff and all his World of Warcraft bullshit which he never would've been talking about to a girl unless he was totally high. Which he was, but that's still no excuse to be blabbering that geek noise to some piece of ass that followed us to Snakeland. So we all give Jeff the eye and the nod and he finally gets it and he's like you wanna go down by the water? and she's like yeah, sure and they grab a couple of beers and they go and we laugh a little and they laugh a little. And then Tony's all Let's build a fire! and Dez is all No, let's just cut out the middleman and actually tell the cops where we are, and then it's Fuck You but bong hits later no problem.

Jeff or the girl whips a bottle in the water but it must've been a big one because the echo is even bigger than the splash, or at least it sounds that way. From where we are. The girl walks up, hours later maybe, feels that way, wiping her mouth says Jeff fell asleep. Dez waits until she leaves, looks at us, goes Is that a good sign or a bad sign? And Tony goes Who cares, where did they get wine? Dez is like The fuck you talking about? And Tony says Her mouth was all red, dude. Her lips were all red.


tipota said...

wow, this is great, wickedly cool. the jumps and bumps and bottles hitting the water and ha ha in the end what happened to Jeff and the voices and shes wiping her mouth, easement into mysterious potentially horrific conclusions or maybe just a typical nightlife scene in some rural tavern? imo great work always leaves a question, thanks

Paul said...

Very cool, a study in voices. Like a noir style Stand By Me.

Renee said...

Your stories always bring me somewhere I don't know about. A man's head, or a group of boys.


Renee xoxoxo

Devil Finch said...

Wow. Let me just tell you what happend to me:

I went heavy on a painfully vivid reality and then was snatched by red lips.

You wrote it to sound just as it happend, but delibratly meant it to look different.

I'm still hearing the bottle huckings and the bong bubling as I write this "comment".


Jason Gusmann said...

tipota, paul, renee, DF: y'all continue to make my day(s). see you in snakeland - i'll bring the wine. dude.