RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so of course after all that the
next time richie wants to steal
a car it has to be nulles car

apparently mrs cuddy is gone
which provides richie with a
convenient excuse not to take
his and its not like

stealing cuddys car was
relaxing or anything but with
nulles its somehow scarier
cuz if cuddy caught us

thered probably be cops and
it would be a nightmare but if
nulles catches us it seems like
theres a real possibility

that he will actually kill us
but richie doesnt care and i
dont really have a choice in
the matter so we

sneak out and down the road
to the off campus housing
again and the warmer
weather makes it easier to
hide cuz

theres hardly any snow which
is great cuz we actually need
to hide this time when a car
comes and me and richie

duck into the bushes and they
dont see us and we cant tell
whos driving from where we
are but whatever

and we climb back out onto
the road and finish the trek to
nulles house and richie goes
into the garage

and i watch the street and i
can see richie in there with a
penlight doing something and
then hes

lifting the garage door super
slow and it still makes more
noise than i want it to but
then its open

and he motions me in and for
some reason its easier for
richie to get into nulles
lincoln continental than

cuddys bmw but i dont ask
why i just help him push it
into the street and i look up at

the darkened windows of the
house and i swear i see the
gleam of red tinted glasses
and i go

-holy shit holy shit- and
richie goes -what- and i
whisper -i think i saw nulles-
and richie looks back from

the drivers door where hes
pushing and goes -its
nothing dee dee keep
pushing- and i look back and

theres nothing there now so i
keep pushing until were in
the street and richie jumps in
and ten seconds later it starts
with a roar

which scares the shit out of
me but then after that it runs
really quiet so i calm myself
and get in

and we roll slowly out and
onto the highway and richie
guns it a little bit but its not
nearly as responsive

as the bmw and richie goes
-just like his poky ass to drive
something like this- and i
look through

the glove box and the visor
and theres nothing no cds
and hardly anything really
and richie goes -dont bother

-he doesnt leave any traces
no personality you see- and i
kind of dont get it but i put on
the radio and its all like the
factory presets

one rock one jazz one top
forty one christian and its
weird but it kind of makes
sense with what richie said

so i turn off the radio and
turn to him and ask -so
where are we going tonight-
trying not to sound

nervous and weird so he
doesnt get all uptight with me
again and he smiles -its a
surprise- and i go

-so were not going back to
boxer- kind of disappointed
and richie goes -its a surprise
if i told you

-it wouldnt be a surprise
anymore- and i just sit back
-okay cool- and he sneaks a
look at me and smiles

-ill just tell you this dee dee
you will never forget this
night as long as you live-
and i laugh

-okay cryptic guy ill try not
to explode with anticipation-
and richie goes -nice use of
the word cryptic dee dee-

and im pleased in spite of
myself -yeah i thought so-
so we keep driving and
eventually we end up in
white rock

and richie pulls into an all
night drugstore -i gotta leave
this thing running wait here-
and im like

-where the fuck am i gonna
go- and he smiles slams the
door and runs in

and were actually in a pretty
sketchy part of white rock
and theres like crackheads
and other creeps all over

walking by and shouting at
each other so i just put on the
radio and avoid making eye
contact

but i cant keep myself from
trying to imagine where were
gonna go and what we could
possibly be doing here

and then richies back and he
throws a big bag in the back
seat and i hear plastic bottles
tumbling around in there

and i go -jesus that was
quick- and richie smiles and
puts the lincoln in gear -i
didnt want to take the chance

-that youd get too nervous
and ditch me- and i scoff -as
if- and richie backs out into
the street

almost running over this
homeless guy in the process
and then were off again and
richie starts slowing down in
this

even seedier part of white
rock where theres like all
these empty factories and
dingy bars and then i start
noticing

some of the women looking
into the car as we pass and
then richie goes -so which
one do you want-

and i sigh -what are you
talking about richie- and he
repeats himself -which-one-
do-you-want

-were popping yr cherry
tonight boy- and suddenly all
those skinny women peering
into the car come into focus
and i exclaim

-what with a fucking hooker-
and richie calmly replies -of
course with a fucking hooker
you dont think yr ever

-gonna get any pussy sitting
around the dorm playing
pimptastic 2 do you- then he
laughs -yr performance at
boxer

-didnt exactly flood me with
confidence in yr abilities
either- then he shrugs
-besides its my treat- and im
like

-gee thanks- and i look out
at all the smeary red and blue
lights -i didnt know catching
aids was gonna be the
surprise-

richie snorts dismissively -yr
not gonna catch aids- he
reaches into the back seat and
shakes the plastic bag

-thats what all this is for- and
i dont say anything for a
minute until i say

-i dont want my first time to
be with some fucking whore-
and i realize as soon as i say
it

that its the first time i ever
admitted to that ever
especially to richie but he just
takes it in stride

-why dee dee do you think
you might regret it- and i
just quietly go -fuck you-
and he laughs at me

and then slows the car to a
crawl as we approach this
especially dimly lit corner
and he goes -there she is

-thats the one- and he swings
the steering wheel around
lazily and we come to a stop
and im all -what do you
mean-

-what the fuck is- and then
shes there at the passenger
side bobbing up and down
stick thin and black

short dyed blonde hair
scarred lips yellow eyes and
mottled teeth shes wearing a
satin jacket even though its
way too cold

but her black leather
miniskirt cant be helping
either she totters on stiletto
heels while richie finds the
window toggle

even though im gesturing
frantically for him not to the
window comes down and she
leans in over me grinning

showing a pipe stem shaped
divide in her teeth -hey baby
you on yr way to a party-
and richie goes -yeah you
wanna come with us-

the sound of his voice makes
her face drop and she kisses
her teeth -i dont do no father
and son shit

-thats fucked up- richie leans
into the light of the street
lamp -im younger than he is-
and he points to me

she looks at us shakes her
head then looks again -lunch
money motherfuckers you
aint got shit

-no money motherfuckers
shit- she starts backing away
stilettos clacking on the
pavement and i see my
chance and whisper

to richie -drive drive drive-
but he just says -no wait-
and he pulls something out of
his jacket and holds his hand
out towards her

and opens his fist palm up
and theres a fat green roll
sitting there tied with two
rubber bands and he says to
her

-my dad gave me some extra
lunch money today- and she
peers in again and her tone
becomes immediately
businesslike

-okay what you do is you
drive up here make that first
left at the light- and richie
puts the money away

says -no get in well take
you to the party- and she
straightens up theatrically
-fuck you- and richie goes

-look i just want to have a
party i dont wanna meet yr
pimp or yr brother or anyone
in the closet

-or behind the door i just
wanna take you to the lamp
lighter inn and have a party-
and her face softens a little

i dont know why -the lamp
lighter- richie nods -yeah
yeah- she looks off does the
math in her head shrugs

-okay- she goes to the rear
door and richie looks for the
toggle to unlock it while i just
sit there going –fuck fuck
fuck-

she climbs in all elbows and
knees pulls the door shut
behind her grinning again
-all right babies were gonna
have a good time now-

she pulls out a compact and
tentatively touches her face
-just dont fall in love with me
that happens sometimes

-the first time you know- and
richie pulls out into the street
looks into the rearview -first
time what first time-

she explodes in laughter -oh
baby the first time you drove
a car the fuck you think- she
shakes her head and laughs
again

-the first time you drove a car
the fuck you think- richie
laughs with her and i just
kind of

hug my sides and tighten up
even more