Friday, September 11, 2009
RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)
so next morning richie slaps
me on the leg and the impact
travels in a wave all the way
up my body and stops at my
head
where it wakes me with this
thudding horrible ache that is
instantly worse than anything
ive ever felt before
followed by an intense
feeling of blind panic -holy
shit holy shit did you take
the car back- i attempt to sit
up on the bed
which fails completely and
then i fall slowly back to the
pillow moaning richie laughs
-yeah yeah i took it back we
didnt get caught-
my suffering abates for a
moment -good- and then he
says –i left cuddy a note on
the steering wheel thanking
him for the loan though-
im reeling and i cant tell if
hes fucking with me or not
-oh god tell me yr kidding
me- and he says -naw i didnt
write that
-i wouldnt write something
like that- and again the pain
recedes for a second he goes
on -i wrote –ah pook is here-
on a post-it
-and left that on the steering
wheel- and i cant even get
pissed anymore -whatever
man- i just roll over
then he says -i didnt come
over to tell you that i came
over to tell you what i figured
out after last night
-about what you asked me in
the car- and i just moan
-jesus christ i dont care just
leave me alone- and put my
hands over my ears
his voice becomes oddly
thoughtful -you know when
you asked me that if we are
friends i actually had to think
about that-
i take my hands away from
my head and sigh -oh great i
cant wait to hear the rest-
-no really i mean theres
gotta be some reason i hang
out with yr beaver cleaver ass
right-
i dont say anything already
getting tired of being insulted
and hes just getting started
-what it is i think you
remind me of somebody that
i used to know that i really
liked- he stops for a minute
-or better yet i mean you
remind me of the kind of
person that person wouldve
really liked
-she was always saying i was
way too hard on everybody
except her and she wouldve
liked you a lot
-she wouldve been pissed at
me for being mean to you
and maybe she wouldve been
right so i guess we are friends-
im dizzy now -are you
talking about leander-
he shakes his head scowls
-no not at all-
//something goes off in my
brain through the fog//
-you mean jane jane tulle-
gannett-
his back straightens
involuntarily stops moving
tries to laugh it off -what-
-you do jane tulle-gannett
the dead woman we went to
see her grave-
he grimaces -you fucking
smackhead she was dead
before i was even born how
would that even be possible-
i kinda laugh -i dont know
but its her i dont know how
but it is her- i laugh again
-its her i remind you of or
someone shed like
-or whatever- richie gets up
shakes his head pats the bed
-okay hungover guy get
some rest apparently you
still got a lot to sleep off-
im amazed -i cant believe i
figured it out holy shit its
jane tulle-
and he cuts me off -just shut
up you dont know what the
fuck yr talking about just
shut up and go to sleep-
walks out of the room -dont
know why i even tried to be
nice to you fucking
smackhead-
but im right and i know im
right and i drift back off into
fuzzy half-sleep trying to
figure out how that could
possibly be
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8 comments:
Fascinating … just spent the last hour reading here. It’s a bit strange reading it backwards, but now I can follow along. I just love this, so unique.
Consider me a fan.
Miss D
Excelent text, thank Jason for it. I can see you change here the person who tells the story is not the same any more, that makes it more interesting to me, it is like you provided another eyes to see it, So we can have a more complete view. I also like when you say "i was way too hard on everybody
except her", I like that description of the character, cause that is how I think he was, and probably he was in love with her, that is why she was treated better by him. It makes sense.
Great text, take care Jason
This just gets better and better. The rhythm of it generates this almost frightening sense of inexorability, of being pulled towards the conclusion, of falling head first into the unstoppable story with its tension and tenderness so palpable.
I also like the serial format. It's like the comics I read when I was younger - I used to lie in wait for the paper boy for hours, waiting for the next instalment.
Finally having time to come and catch up on Richie! Going to sit down with a big mug of hot chocolate (maybe even with some rum in it)and get reading!
The plot thickens. I agree there is this momentum, a kind of feeling of inevitability in it like they have been sucked into a story they won't be able to control. It is simply a fantastic peice of writing, Jason, in everyway, poetical and story-telling.
wow jason, the way it weaves in and out of their heads and mine and i guess yours and evrybody elses, this saga is amazing and so unique, will be back for more!
miss demure restraint - thanks for reading - so happy to see you!
mariana - yeah, that relationship kind of changes how we see richie. its interesting to develop his past, especially because it is mysterious.
sp - i'm so glad it refers back to the comics for you! comics were a real influence for me growing up, and i definitely used to wait for further installments -
maxine - rum and chocolate...mmmm. you deserve to relax after all that work! great job!
paul - dead on, as usual. it is just a matter of time before their sense of control is challenged, and goes right out the window.
tipota - the weaving is still something i'm working on in a bigger context. yr weaving skills are unquestioned, tho.
your Ketai S. form is wonderful, just thought I'd tell you, in some chapters it is more apparent than others, how the form is working for the story, if you know what i mean...
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