Friday, September 24, 2010

RETURN TO SNAKELAND - Fifth Fragment


* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent. – JG *


Snakeland still sprawls across the edges of my imagination, casting its dusky shadow over the unnamed suburban sidestreets of my mind. It shows up in my writing, still, more than twenty years since I graduated from Kenton North. I used it in this chunk of flash fiction from 2009 as a setting for a dippy vampire exercise.


HEAVY INTO JEFF

The girl was heavy into Jeff; she knew it, we knew it. Much beers later, you had half a mind to tell the kid because he obviously wasn't gonna get it on his own. Snakeland was good for beers and bong hits - no one ever there except homeless dudes. And snakes. The part by the water you could huck the bottles in; dig the splash, then the echo of the splash. The empty grain elevators were a wall between us and the cops, all floor holes and broken glass. Pretty sweet.


The girl was totally listening to Jeff and all his World of Warcraft bullshit which he never would've been talking about to a girl unless he was totally high. Which he was, but that's still no excuse to be blabbering that geek noise to some piece of ass that followed us to Snakeland. So we all give Jeff the eye and the nod and he finally gets it and he's like you wanna go down by the water? and she's like yeah, sure and they grab a couple of beers and they go and we laugh a little and they laugh a little. And then Tony's all Let's build a fire! and Dez is all No, let's just cut out the middleman and actually tell the cops where we are, and then it's Fuck You but bong hits later no problem.


Jeff or the girl whips a bottle in the water but it must've been a big one because the echo is even bigger than the splash, or at least it sounds that way. From where we are. The girl walks up, hours later maybe, feels that way, wiping her mouth says Jeff fell asleep. Dez waits until she leaves, looks at us, goes Is that a good sign or a bad sign? And Tony goes Who cares, where did they get wine? Dez is like The fuck you talking about? And Tony says Her mouth was all red, dude. Her lips were all red.



5 comments:

tipota said...

alluring preface, 'edges...', the 'dusky shadow' and ',,,sidestreets of my mind', beautiful. i could almost hear rod serling reading it in that voice that makes my backbone tingle

i remember 'heavy into jeff', its one of the most shuddersome noirish things i ever read

Jason Gusmann said...

you are sweeter than i deserve, tipota

COCOYEA said...

very compelling.

Tracey said...

Your writing is always so ALIVE and keeps that balance between gritty and 'too' real perfectly.

Sometimes I think it's also in the words that you leave out - the things you leave unsaid, and have your characters instead show us through their actions - that is doubly powerful!

Sherry said...

I like how you tell those little stories..so at ease..and the words so from daily life yet the linking of them so intelligent...high stuff!