Friday, April 24, 2009

RICHIE - CHAPTER SIX (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shosetsu)

so i look up ah pook online
and it takes me awhile but i
find it and ive kind of got
richie on something

so i go down to his room in

the dorm and i knock and go
in and its totally messy in
there with heaps of clothes

and piles of books all over

the place and he doesnt have
a computer not even one of
those ancient word

theres just this typing thing

on his desk with the paper
right in it and its huge and
shiny and black like my
grandmas sewing machine

and the sheets and

pillowcases on the bed where
hes lying are black too which
weirds me out because all i
can think of

is that sheets like those would

totally show beat off stains
but i guess maybe richie isnt
the type to beat off even
though hed be

the first one i ever met richie

leans up on his elbow and
puts his book down goes
–hey- and hes not super

psyched to see me

but he doesnt seem irritated

either so i walk over and go
–hey i looked up ah pook-

and he says –oh really what
did you find-

but before i can answer i see

what hes got decorating the
wall over his bed and its all
pictures and articles

from magazines and tabloids

and what looks like crime
scene photos and its all about
the salinas high school

and im like -what the fuck is

all this- and he looks up and
goes -oh that- like its totally

and im like -uh yeah- and

he goes -why do you ask-
kind of thoughtfully and i go
–it just seems really
depressing to me-

he looks back over to me and

goes -really do you think so
because i dont i find it really
interesting and kind of

-exciting- and im like -you

find pointless murder
exciting- and he waves his
hand dismissively

-not the murder part so much

that was just kind of an
unfortunate by-product- and
i snort -oh really-

but he just goes on like i

didnt say anything -but
pointless thats just not true
not pointless everything they
did was planned

-and i mean everything i

think they even planned out
when they were gonna shoot
each other and where-

im getting pretty grossed out

-you think they planned it so
theyd end up in the cafeteria
that doesnt make any sense-

-no no i meant where on

their bodies- and richie
makes a gun with his hand
and points it grinning at his

and im like -oh- and he goes

-so they couldnt have open
caskets at their funerals-
and im like -oh- again

he sits all the way up on the

bed -youre one to get all
weird about it dee dee you
were like one step away

i wince -yeah man but i

dont think it was cool or
anything like that it was just
something i did

-i can actually barely

remember anything about
that day- and richie shrugs
-fair enough-

then he goes on -but what i

was saying before was that
nothing about it was pointless
like no one notices the
importance of the date-

and im like -the date- and he

goes -yeah december first
twelve-oh-one- and he looks
at me all expectantly and i
have no idea why

he sighs -its a time 12:01

one minute after midnight its
a new day- he sits back
smiling -yesterdays gone

-too late to change the past-

and he looks satisfied but i
think about it for a minute
and go -but 12:01 couldnt
that be

- one minute after noon too-

and he processes what i said
and goes -what the fuck
would that symbolize-

and i think for a second and

smile -lunch- and richie
stares at me unblinking for
like a minute then looks away
then back to me

-okay you get a pass on that

one because thats actually
really funny- he shakes his
head chuckles -it
symbolizes lunch you

- so anyway what did you

find out about ah pook- and i
remember i want to catch him
off guard so i have to say it

-you spelled it wrong but

other than that the stuff you
told me was all pretty much

and he goes -what do you

mean i spelled it wrong- and
im like -its ah P-U-C-H- and
hes all –no its not

-in the burroughs book he

spells it P-O-O-K its an
accepted variation- and i
smile -yeah i know about
the burroughs book

-but thats like a character if

you were gonna do it for real
you should have spelled it
like the mayans did- and hes
a little pissed

-what the fuck do you know

about the mayans- and im
like -enough to know that if
im gonna write some shit on
the wall

-im gonna spell it right- and

he just sighs and drops back
onto the bed -whatever dee
dee if it werent for the
goddamn interwebs

-you wouldnt know anything-

and im starting to feel like i
pushed too hard and lost my
advantage somehow

but then i see it on the far

side of the bed behind him
and i totally forget all that –is
that do you have a teddy

he sits back up grins picks

up the bear -sure- then after
a second -i dont like to sleep
alone dee dee- then drops
back down and rolls over

with his book -see yrself out-

and he totally waves me off
and as im leaving im thinking
that even though i basically
made him admit

to me that he did the graffiti

he somehow told me less
about him than i ended up
telling him about me



Narnie said...

You had me hooked. I don't know really how I feel at the end of it and I suspect that might be part of your plan too... in-ter-esting. :)

Paul said...

It is fantastic Jason. I just repeat myself over and over, standing ovation for all the reasons I have said before.

LeRoy K. May. said...

yeah i like it too, nice rhythm, really flowing.

i added u to my buboneka blogroll, a blog where i post a twitter novel too, but in french.

Jason Gusmann said...

narnie - you got it. richie's not just a smart kid. there's some weird shit swimming around in there.

paul - you just repeat yrself all you like, pallie. it always makes my day.

leroy - thanks for checking out the blog, and for the blogroll entry! my french is horrendously rusty (last time i even tried speaking/understanding was 1992 when i spent a month in paris) but i will do my best with yr work. thanks again!

Mariana Soffer said...

- every moment of awareness is a pile of interpretations all in
superposition. A single state of mind is layered with harmonics of
meaning - yet somehow remains one experience.(susan blackmore)

tipota said...

brilliant, a clear sense of who, but with the i character holding the frame, on the subdued drama, on himself

maekitso said...

Jason. I've been returning to this again and again. Going back and reading the earlier chapters and I'd like to offer some deep and meaningful response but all I can come up with right now is damn this is shit hot. I admit that I have never been good with narratives that contain multiple characters. I only realised that recently and thought, hey, that explains why I always fell for the stories about shipwrecked types and solo navigators confronting insurmountable odds. On and on I go. Language is intuited. Characters are understood. Maybe that's what you're proving here. Thanks. And thanks for the warning too. I'll keep my rear eye mirror clean.

Jason Gusmann said...

mariana & tipota & maekitso - thank you all for your very individual, very intelligent, very positive commentary. nothing pleases me more than moving you folks enough to write me about it. much appreciated.