MY LITTLE MELTDOWN

Okay, so about a week ago I had a little meltdown on the Twitter. I guess I was still pretty high from finishing 'Richie' and was in talks with the agent so I bit off way more than I could chew. Not only did I start two new Twitter novels (the other one was @zombie_vs_shark, which will still continue) but eventually realized once I got about two chapters into "Stranded..." that it simply wasn't very good. Or it is a transitional piece, and really shouldn't be posted without serious revision. Or something. Either way, "Stranded..." had/has problems and it needed to be discontinued.

The problem was that a lot of kind people had helped me pump up the new Twitter novel with 'retweets' and support and once I figured out that I had to discontinue "Stranded..." I felt like a huge asshole. So instead of posting more boring bits of "Stranded..." I just let loose about how stupid the whole thing made me feel, and I got some great advice from folks and, once again, some good support. The Twitter novel is actually a pretty harsh taskmistress, and I didn't realize until I attempted "Stranded..." how lucky I got the first time. Anyway, I'll be posting the two completed chapters on the blog over the next week and you can judge for yrselves.

GOOD NEWS!

Hey folks! Good news - there's an interview with me on the In To Views site - http://intoviews.wordpress.com/2010/01/22/jason-gusmann/ - pretty cool! Check out the whole site if you have time - they've got a really interesting cross-section of interviews on there.

Also, I have officially this date signed the contract to be represented by the Tribe Literary Agency and the estimable Cari Hawks Foulk - TribeLit is a really interesting grassroots experiment with the whole representation thing, and I'm honestly proud to be a part of it. We'll see what happens!

GOODBYE CIGARETTES

i know this love is over

but no one can know how hard it is

to let you go

because loving you is loving death

and thats been the sweetest

its always been the sweetest

all the warnings in the world just made it sweeter

this deferred embrace

-but daddy always told me

dont leave the girl yr with

until youve found a new one

to take her place-

so what then?

healthy

i will love healthy

i will love myself

vitamins + vitamin water

regular exercise

a balanced diet

goodbye sweetness

goodbye measured tinctures of death

so boring

you wanna put a bullet in yr brain

some will read this + laugh at all the romantic drama

but they will never know the joy

of having a drink with you

or sipping strong coffee in yr stronger atmosphere

or reaching across to kiss you in the car

when the perfect driving song comes on

you drew my attention

to every breath i took

even as you brought them ever shorter

you made me feel invulnerable

inhaling my armor

a tiny glowing weapon in my fist

never alone walking in the dark

yr other lovers

sprawled across time + space

never made me jealous

there was always enough love

(death)

to go around

but this relationship needs to end

when i havent seen you for awhile

that first kiss feels so good

but midway through

i forget im kissing you

and we cannot continue this way

i need you the most when yr away

but when yr back

so quickly we take each other for granted again

this relationship needs to end

how could i love you for so long

+ have it go this wrong

ive been trying to get back that first year

for the last eight

got to get used to being haunted by you

so i will bury my love

go different places

see other people

+ deny that we were ever lovers

when i see you

i will look away

+ when i smell yr scent

i will block it out

+ on the long drive

i will reach for you

+ you wont be there

i love you

i will always love you

but i know this relationship has to end

what love

could possibly take its place?

COMPUTER DOWN!

Hey - I forgot to post on here after I announced this on twitter - better get my priorities in order. Our computer went down, and went down hard (I'm writing this on a loaner). I temporarily lost all my writing and notes for STRANDED...the new twitter novel and all the other things I was working on. Luckily, the IT guy we've got has saved pretty much everything so next week I should be back up to speed on both the blog and twitter. Next up is a long poem I'm writing about quitting smoking. Ugh.