RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so of course after all that the
next time richie wants to steal
a car it has to be nulles car

apparently mrs cuddy is gone
which provides richie with a
convenient excuse not to take
his and its not like

stealing cuddys car was
relaxing or anything but with
nulles its somehow scarier
cuz if cuddy caught us

thered probably be cops and
it would be a nightmare but if
nulles catches us it seems like
theres a real possibility

that he will actually kill us
but richie doesnt care and i
dont really have a choice in
the matter so we

sneak out and down the road
to the off campus housing
again and the warmer
weather makes it easier to
hide cuz

theres hardly any snow which
is great cuz we actually need
to hide this time when a car
comes and me and richie

duck into the bushes and they
dont see us and we cant tell
whos driving from where we
are but whatever

and we climb back out onto
the road and finish the trek to
nulles house and richie goes
into the garage

and i watch the street and i
can see richie in there with a
penlight doing something and
then hes

lifting the garage door super
slow and it still makes more
noise than i want it to but
then its open

and he motions me in and for
some reason its easier for
richie to get into nulles
lincoln continental than

cuddys bmw but i dont ask
why i just help him push it
into the street and i look up at

the darkened windows of the
house and i swear i see the
gleam of red tinted glasses
and i go

-holy shit holy shit- and
richie goes -what- and i
whisper -i think i saw nulles-
and richie looks back from

the drivers door where hes
pushing and goes -its
nothing dee dee keep
pushing- and i look back and

theres nothing there now so i
keep pushing until were in
the street and richie jumps in
and ten seconds later it starts
with a roar

which scares the shit out of
me but then after that it runs
really quiet so i calm myself
and get in

and we roll slowly out and
onto the highway and richie
guns it a little bit but its not
nearly as responsive

as the bmw and richie goes
-just like his poky ass to drive
something like this- and i
look through

the glove box and the visor
and theres nothing no cds
and hardly anything really
and richie goes -dont bother

-he doesnt leave any traces
no personality you see- and i
kind of dont get it but i put on
the radio and its all like the
factory presets

one rock one jazz one top
forty one christian and its
weird but it kind of makes
sense with what richie said

so i turn off the radio and
turn to him and ask -so
where are we going tonight-
trying not to sound

nervous and weird so he
doesnt get all uptight with me
again and he smiles -its a
surprise- and i go

-so were not going back to
boxer- kind of disappointed
and richie goes -its a surprise
if i told you

-it wouldnt be a surprise
anymore- and i just sit back
-okay cool- and he sneaks a
look at me and smiles

-ill just tell you this dee dee
you will never forget this
night as long as you live-
and i laugh

-okay cryptic guy ill try not
to explode with anticipation-
and richie goes -nice use of
the word cryptic dee dee-

and im pleased in spite of
myself -yeah i thought so-
so we keep driving and
eventually we end up in
white rock

and richie pulls into an all
night drugstore -i gotta leave
this thing running wait here-
and im like

-where the fuck am i gonna
go- and he smiles slams the
door and runs in

and were actually in a pretty
sketchy part of white rock
and theres like crackheads
and other creeps all over

walking by and shouting at
each other so i just put on the
radio and avoid making eye
contact

but i cant keep myself from
trying to imagine where were
gonna go and what we could
possibly be doing here

and then richies back and he
throws a big bag in the back
seat and i hear plastic bottles
tumbling around in there

and i go -jesus that was
quick- and richie smiles and
puts the lincoln in gear -i
didnt want to take the chance

-that youd get too nervous
and ditch me- and i scoff -as
if- and richie backs out into
the street

almost running over this
homeless guy in the process
and then were off again and
richie starts slowing down in
this

even seedier part of white
rock where theres like all
these empty factories and
dingy bars and then i start
noticing

some of the women looking
into the car as we pass and
then richie goes -so which
one do you want-

and i sigh -what are you
talking about richie- and he
repeats himself -which-one-
do-you-want

-were popping yr cherry
tonight boy- and suddenly all
those skinny women peering
into the car come into focus
and i exclaim

-what with a fucking hooker-
and richie calmly replies -of
course with a fucking hooker
you dont think yr ever

-gonna get any pussy sitting
around the dorm playing
pimptastic 2 do you- then he
laughs -yr performance at
boxer

-didnt exactly flood me with
confidence in yr abilities
either- then he shrugs
-besides its my treat- and im
like

-gee thanks- and i look out
at all the smeary red and blue
lights -i didnt know catching
aids was gonna be the
surprise-

richie snorts dismissively -yr
not gonna catch aids- he
reaches into the back seat and
shakes the plastic bag

-thats what all this is for- and
i dont say anything for a
minute until i say

-i dont want my first time to
be with some fucking whore-
and i realize as soon as i say
it

that its the first time i ever
admitted to that ever
especially to richie but he just
takes it in stride

-why dee dee do you think
you might regret it- and i
just quietly go -fuck you-
and he laughs at me

and then slows the car to a
crawl as we approach this
especially dimly lit corner
and he goes -there she is

-thats the one- and he swings
the steering wheel around
lazily and we come to a stop
and im all -what do you
mean-

-what the fuck is- and then
shes there at the passenger
side bobbing up and down
stick thin and black

short dyed blonde hair
scarred lips yellow eyes and
mottled teeth shes wearing a
satin jacket even though its
way too cold

but her black leather
miniskirt cant be helping
either she totters on stiletto
heels while richie finds the
window toggle

even though im gesturing
frantically for him not to the
window comes down and she
leans in over me grinning

showing a pipe stem shaped
divide in her teeth -hey baby
you on yr way to a party-
and richie goes -yeah you
wanna come with us-

the sound of his voice makes
her face drop and she kisses
her teeth -i dont do no father
and son shit

-thats fucked up- richie leans
into the light of the street
lamp -im younger than he is-
and he points to me

she looks at us shakes her
head then looks again -lunch
money motherfuckers you
aint got shit

-no money motherfuckers
shit- she starts backing away
stilettos clacking on the
pavement and i see my
chance and whisper

to richie -drive drive drive-
but he just says -no wait-
and he pulls something out of
his jacket and holds his hand
out towards her

and opens his fist palm up
and theres a fat green roll
sitting there tied with two
rubber bands and he says to
her

-my dad gave me some extra
lunch money today- and she
peers in again and her tone
becomes immediately
businesslike

-okay what you do is you
drive up here make that first
left at the light- and richie
puts the money away

says -no get in well take
you to the party- and she
straightens up theatrically
-fuck you- and richie goes

-look i just want to have a
party i dont wanna meet yr
pimp or yr brother or anyone
in the closet

-or behind the door i just
wanna take you to the lamp
lighter inn and have a party-
and her face softens a little

i dont know why -the lamp
lighter- richie nods -yeah
yeah- she looks off does the
math in her head shrugs

-okay- she goes to the rear
door and richie looks for the
toggle to unlock it while i just
sit there going –fuck fuck
fuck-

she climbs in all elbows and
knees pulls the door shut
behind her grinning again
-all right babies were gonna
have a good time now-

she pulls out a compact and
tentatively touches her face
-just dont fall in love with me
that happens sometimes

-the first time you know- and
richie pulls out into the street
looks into the rearview -first
time what first time-

she explodes in laughter -oh
baby the first time you drove
a car the fuck you think- she
shakes her head and laughs
again

-the first time you drove a car
the fuck you think- richie
laughs with her and i just
kind of

hug my sides and tighten up
even more

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

the weather breaks for a little
while after that and even
though its still gray and
slushy

its kind of unseasonably
warm like almost in the 50s
and the one morning im
walking over to the school
with richie

and hes being sullen and
weird like usual but whatever
and we walk past the wall
outside the commons where
the graffiti was

and the physical plant guys
are taking advantage of the
weather and theyre out there
with the sandblasting
equipment

getting rid of the writing and
nulles is out there watching
them with his red glasses and
twitchy little mouth

and richie stops to watch
them work and it takes me a
few seconds to realize hes not
with me

and i look back and richies
watching and grinning and
apparently nulles sees him
cuz he lumbers over there

and i walk back to where they
are cuz i dont wanna miss
this and i cant hear the first
thing nulles says to richie but

richie keeps smiling at nulles
and goes -let it come down-
and i think hes talking about
the graffiti but that

wouldnt make sense cuz then
nulles goes -you have
literally no idea what yr
messing with here none- and
then

i must catch his eye cuz he
gestures to me and says to
richie -why dont you tell yr
little friend

-how weve both been here
before- and i look at richie
and go -fairview- and he
narrows his eyes and shakes
his head

-dee dee has enough to figure
out right now- and nulles
chuckles -dee dee thats right
i forgot how fond you are

-of nicknames- then the
smile drops -no matter
whatever yr trying to do here
its not gonna work- and
richie laughs

-apres moi le deluge- and
nulles tightens up even more
-i dont believe you- and
richie stops laughing

and his voice gets low and
even -you know as well as i
do that fairview is all shiny
and new on top

-and the foundation
underneath is rotten and weak
and all its gonna take is just
enough pressure from above

-before the whole thing
crashes down around yr
ankles- and nulles doesnt say
anything for a minute but
then

he smiles a tight little smile
and says -well see richie
well see- and turns back
towards the wall

and walks over to watch the
workers some more and
richie doesnt take his eyes off
him and i go -what the fuck

-is going on here- and richie
scoffs but doesnt stop
watching nulles -just another
asshole in a long series of
assholes

-this world is just chock full
of them- and he starts
walking back and im still
totally unsatisfied and i go
-wait wait wait

-what was all that shit about
before and everything
collapsing and you not
knowing what yr messing
with-

and richie looks off
thoughtfully -you know i
really think hes just mad cuz i
kissed cuddy and not him-

and i almost throw up in my
mouth a little bit -jesus christ
can you imagine holy shit
thats gross- and richie laughs
and nods

-kissing cuddy was no picnic
either but that i mean nulles
you dont come back from shit
like that ever

-they dont make a
mouthwash that strong- and
that makes me laugh and
richie laughs again

and were at the door by then
so we just go inside laughing

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shoustesu)

next day isaacs class and
richie comes in slams his
stuff down next to me drops
into the chair

goes –so did you dig into
any of those books yet- and i
look over at him and go
-yeah

-i started naked lunch- and
he smiles -oh really what do
you think so far- and im like
-its pretty gay

-i mean like really gay i
didnt know there was gonna
be that much cocksucking
and shit-

richie shrugs -yeah but you
just have to ignore that or like
deal with it the ideas are
whats important

-especially the stuff about
control systems and that- and
im like -i dont know if i can
ignore all that

-i mean its pretty gay are the
other books like that- and
richie looks at me disgusted
-yeah dee dee theyre all like
that

-i set you up for a real
cocksucking frenzy- and im
about to respond when isaacs
walks in and slams the door
behind him

-all right swine- he grins
-prepare yrselves for the
pearls of learning i am about
to cast before ye-

he puts his papers down and
sits at the head of the table
-okay so catcher in the rye
there were probably enough

-swear words to keep yr
interest this time around- and
we go to work and go
through the whole character
arc

and the man vs self plotline
and eventually we get to the
source of the title in holdens
dream about the kids in the
rye

and i can like feel richie
getting antsy next to me
isaacs goes into the
symbolism of it and before
the words

-christ imagery- even leave
his lips richie is all over him
-why is it always christ every
single time

-its as if theres never been
another story of rebirth and
sacrifice in all of world
mythology- and isaacs
tightens up

goes -richie i have no issues
with you not believing in
christ or christian belief
systems but an argument can
definitely be made

-for the imagery being
directly related holdens
constant repetition of the
name christ throughout- and
richie cuts him off

-look- and his voice is
almost shaking -i get it but
physical rebirth is within
reach of every single one of
us

-and to always act like jesus
christ has some kind of
fucking monopoly on it- and
isaacs raises his voice
-RICHIE-

and i dont know if hes getting
pissed cuz richies arguing
again or cuz this is the kind
of shit that gets teachers fired

-i appreciate that you are
passionate about the subject
but again the tone and tenor
of salingers work directly
supports

-references to holden as a
christ figure- and richie
replies -i get it i get that my
issue is that anyone everyone
is given the choice

-to return from physical
death- and isaacs slams his
threadbare copy of catcher on
the table -richie i have told
you this before

-we are not discussing elsa
barker in this class- and
richie grins -how do you
know im talking about elsa
barker-

long pause isaacs shuts his
eyes and grits his teeth -if
you continue with this richie
im going to have to ask you
to leave-

and richie just gets up -okay
fuck it- grabs his books
strides over to the door
whips it open goes out then
slams it behind him

isaacs opens his eyes and
relaxes his jaw -okay then
back to salinger- and frejean
goes -what an asshole- super
loud and

some guys laugh and isaacs
face tightens again -frejean-
and he goes -yeah- and
isaacs says -shut up-

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

again the words are huge and
hard to miss again right on
the brick wall leading to the
cafeteria

-APRES MOI LE DELUGE-
in those same thick curvy
black spray painted letters
and its weird because even
though

its exactly the same as last
time its different too cuz
whoever did it //richie// had
to go over the letters a bunch
more times

cuz of the cold and the letters
are thicker and not as clear as
they were last time even
though they contrast with the
snow

i think mostly cuz theyre in
exactly the same place which
was sandblasted and
everything so its like less
vivid

but of course we all still see
the wall on the way to
school in the morning and
everyones talking about it for
awhile

but nobody speaks french so i
tell some of the guys that it
means -after me the flood-
but they dont know what that
means

and honestly neither do i so at
lunch im sitting with glass
eye reading as usual and
richie comes up and throws
himself down

into one of the chairs and
doesnt even bother
acknowledging glass eye -so
do you know what it means
dee dee- and i go

-what the wall- and he nods
i go -it means after me the
flood in english but i dont
know like what it means
means-

richie shrugs -louis the
fifteenth said it a million
years ago and some people
still argue if he meant that

-after me the revolution
comes which would be like
prophetic and true but you
gotta wonder why hed be
happy about that

-and the other interpretation
is that he was saying let it all
come down cuz ill be dead
anyway and i dont care what
happens

-after me- and i look at him
and ask -which one did you
mean- and he smiles
-neither really i just thought
it sounded cool-

my turn to shrug -i guess- he
goes on -whats a lot more
interesting is that this time
theres no discussion of it you
know

-cuddy didnt pull us outside
for the lecture or anything
like that- and im like
-maybe they dont care
anymore-

richie shakes his head
-doubtful- and it occurs to me
-maybe they dont wanna like
give you the satisfaction you
know-

and he thinks for a second
-maybe so dee dee maybe so
doesnt matter really cuz
pretty soon they wont be able
to ignore me

-even if they want to- and im
like -what the hell does that
mean- and he gets up -dont
worry about it come to my room

-tonight ive got some stuff to
give you- and im confused
but i go -okay- anyway

so that night i go to richies
room and hes sitting on the
bed like waiting for me with
this stack of books

and he smiles and slaps his
knee -dandle on over here
youngster and learn at the
feet of yr elder-

and i go -yr my elder by like
what 8 months richie- and
he shakes his head -matters
not

-for you have much to learn
and time is growing short-
and i walk over and sit next
to him on the bed

-what do you mean its just
what is it today february
school doesnt end til the
beginning of june

-and theyre not gonna
discharge either of us before
the end of the school year
you know that-

richie sighs gazes evenly at
me -look dee dee you know
how the other day i told you
that we were friends

-and it warmed yr heart in
that very special way- and i
go -fuck you- and he goes
-i know

-its hard for you sometimes
to accept the fact that
someone like me could be
friends with someone like
you-

and i sigh and get up he pulls
me back down and raises his
voice -what im trying to say
dee dee is that

-theres gonna come a time
real soon when yr not gonna
want to be my friend
anymore- my face squinches
up

and i shake my head in
disbelief -jesus what are you
talking about are you ever
gonna make sense again-

richie shrugs -im not trying
to be dramatic or anything
but eventually you arent
gonna want to be friends with
me anymore-

i put my hand on his shoulder
and look deep into his eyes -i
dont want to be friends with
you now

-so stop worrying about later-
and he nods closed mouth
then goes -its okay yr in
denial

-thats all right- then hands
me this stack of like 8 books
-these are like this is the base
curriculum

-for not becoming a robot
like the others- and i take the
books and look through them
and some of them

ive heard of like naked lunch
and valis the phillip k dick
book that i was looking at
before and theres

a comic book called the
invisibles and the others are
like philosophy textbooks but
theres also

that letters from a living dead
man book by elsa barker that
richie showed isaacs but the
one that really gets my
attention

is cult psychology and the
perception of freedom by
stanislaw krol and i hold it up
to richie and go

-do you really want to lend
this out cuz i know how rare
it is- and richie shrugs and
says

-ive gotten everything out of
it im going to its cool- but
im like -what if im like
reading it at lunch

-and i get nacho cheese on it
or something- and he goes
-well then id have to kill you-
and i say

-well then i probably
shouldnt take it- and richie
scoffs -just dont read it at
lunch you smackhead-

and i sit there for a minute
looking at it then im like
-thanks- and he says -dont
thank me just make sure you
read them

-cuz otherwise the chances of
you becoming a robot are still
pretty high although yr
proximity to me may have
temporarily

-inoculated you against the
robot virus- and then i just
blurt -are you going to kill
yrself- just like that and he
laughs

but its almost nervous
laughter -dee dee why
would you even ask me that-
and im like -you know like
in health class

-when they tell you that if yr
friend is like suicidal hell be
giving away all his stuff cuz
you know

-he thinks he wont need it
anymore- and richie laughs
again -do i seem depressed
to you dee dee-

and i look away -no but-
and he smiles -then dont
worry about it- and i go -but
you just said

-all that creepy shit about
how soon im not gonna want
to be yr friend- and he says
-well look at it logically

-if i was gonna kill myself
why would i care if you
wanted to be my friend or
not-

and he waits for me to
respond -see- but then i go
-but why would you even say
that stuff-

and he goes -okay bad joke
just forget all that and read
the books cuz thats the
important thing-

and im like -okay i guess
but thats still pretty weird
youve gotta admit- and he
winces and responds

-look im 16 ive got all these
weird chemicals going off
inside my brain like 24/7

-not everything im gonna say
is gonna make sense does
everything you say make
sense- and im like

-you know it doesnt- and he
points over at me -ahh ha-
and i end up taking the books
and going

but ultimately something
about this exchange just
doesnt convince

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

later that night richie comes
busting into my room and
goes -holy shit you have got
to hear this you are gonna
shit yourself-

and hes so different than the
last time i saw him its kind of
blowing my mind and i sit up
on my bed and go –what
whats going on-

and he jumps on the end of
the bed in his boots and
everything and hes jumping
up and down and im like
-hey cut the shit-

but im laughing too cuz its so
crazy so finally he stops
jumping and just slams down
onto my bed so hard it almost
busts the springs

and he goes -so you know
what happened before with
all the stuff on my wall- and
i go -yeah- kind of weirded
out that he

knew i was there but not
interested in faking it at this
point and he goes -yeah so
then i get called over to see
cuddy and i go there-

he pauses -have you ever
been in his office before- and
i say –no- and he goes -its
all like tasteful swedish
modern with all this

-blonde wood and polished
metal and like black cloth
couches and shit ikea area
rugs real 1990s yuppie-

and i go -whats ikea- and he
waves me off -doesnt matter-
and i stop asking questions
and just listen to richie tell
the story

-so cuddys got this ambient
new age music just quietly
burbling out of the speakers
and he says –is this all right
or would you

-prefer something more
uptempo- and i dont care so i
dont say anything just stand
there and he gestures to one
of the chairs and says

-have a seat- so i just fall
back into it and im totally
annoyed at this point because
im pretty sure i know whats
coming

so cuddy turns the chair away
from his desk to face me and
theres this glass coffee table
between us and he points to it

-do you mind if i put my feet
up- and i just shrug and he
puts his feet up and it feels
weird cuz hes being so
courteous to me

even though im pretty sure
that he knows that i stole his
car and did the graffiti on the
commons wall so i just start
talking

and i tell him that it smells
like lemon pledge in there
cuz it did and he pulls this
vaporizer from under the
table

-laurel and lemon- he tells
me smiling like i somehow
care about his fucking air
freshener so i sigh and just
ask him

outright why he asked me to
come to his office and he
leans back and steeples his
hands and goes

-well richie by now youve
seen what happened to yr
wall- and i go yeah and he
nods and asks -any idea why
someone

-would do something like
that- and i tell him that the
implied request was clear
from what he said during the
room search

and he leans in and goes
-clear to who and why- and i
tell him to stop asking me
questions that he already
knows the answers to

so cuddy settles in at this
point and says -youre an
intelligent young man richie
and i know that youve got a
bright future-

and i say oh boy and he
starts getting irritated -so im
going to do you a big favor
and explain to you how the
world works

-how it works now- and im
actually interested to see
where hes gonna go with this
so i dont say anything else
and just

let him talk -the world
operates on three basic
principles okay boredom
stimulation and the path of
least resistance-

and he pauses like hes
waiting for me to say
something smarmy but im
just like okay so he nods
and goes on

-the world itself work eat
sleep work eat sleep is a bore
right this is why punk rock
happened- and im so thrown

by the reference to punk rock
that i dont even know what to
say he keeps going
-eating sleeping showering
dressing

-driving walking breathing
scratching shitting pissing a
million billion times until
you die youre bored already
imagine how bored

-youll be at 30 at 50- and i
honestly didnt expect this line
so i nod him on and he claps
his hands together -so
stimulation

-games dvds satellite radio
satellite tv digital downloads
ipods cellphones billions of
websites virtual reality pretty
soon- and he pauses

and thinks for a second -do
you remember richie this
may be before yr time but
there were these things called
culture wars-

i shake my head -people
actually used to get into these
violent conflicts over which
side they were on pro-life or
pro-choice

-gay or straight red state or
blue state now today which
side are you on has become
the line between everyone
who is boring me

-versus everyone who is
stimulating me making me
feel alive giving me choices-
i must look confused cuz he
gives examples

-what do i want to watch
today which song is gonna
start my day right which
woman and there are
millions my boy

-which woman is gonna make
my dick hard today- and
cuddy sighs contentedly -it is
truly an amazing time to be
alive-

so then i ask him about the
third thing the path of least
resistance and he smiles –this
is the genius part- and then
asks me

-how do you feel when yr
bored- and i play along and
say irritated sluggish empty
restless kinda tired

and he goes -exactly so lets
say thats how you feel right
now- and i smile and tell him
thatll be easy and he laughs

-fuck you kid anyway yr
bored tired irritated no
energy but look- and he
holds up an imaginary object

-ive got a copy of young
lesbians with machine guns
on dvd a bunch of blonde big
titty bitches who go on
missions

-blow a bunch of shit up and
in their down time eat each
others pussies- and i say im
with him and he says

-i thought you would be so
ill give you this dvd but you
have to do something for me
first you can either

-move bricks from the
physical plant to the rose
garden for one hour or-
thinks for a second -you can
come up with

-yr own project anything you
want something fun plan it
out complete it and bring it
back to me tomorrow

-which one would you
choose- and i lean in ask if i
could do anything i want for
the project and he nods

-anything art music writing
anything you name it- and
he settles back and interlaces
his fingers on his lap

i eventually sigh and tell him
that id move the bricks for an
hour and he raises his index
finger -the path of least
resisitance

-thus endeth the lesson you
need to make a choice richie
and the sooner you make it
the better off youll be do you

-want to bore people do you
want to stimulate people or
do you want to be the one
who controls what they
choose-

and i think for a minute ask
if they cant all be the same
person and cuddy gives me
this weird smile and shakes
his finger at me

-i knew you were a smart one
richie honestly if you learn
only one thing from yr time
at fairview learn this

-there is no stimulation no
buzz in the world like
control its the only buzz that
lasts- and i shake my head

say i cant get my head around
the idea that people are that
predictable that you can
really make them choose
what you want

them to just by making it
easier or less boring and
cuddy gets all serious -dont
fool yrself richie everyones
got strings

-and they can all be pulled if
you just learn how to do it
just become the master of yr
own life and make sure you
end up the one

-pulling the strings on it- and
i sigh and i tell him that i cant
believe im saying it but i
thank him and extend my
hand

and he smiles indulgently at
me -yr very welcome- and
extends his hand in kind and i
grab it to shake

then i clutch it in a death-grip
and i pull him up hard out of
his seat and i stand up at the
same time and i grab

the back of his neck with my
left hand and pull him in
close over the coffee table for
a kiss

and he struggles and tries to
release my hand and push on
my chest with his left but i
keep clutching his right and

ive got my mouth jammed
hard on his and im like
slobbering all over him and
trying to probe in with my
tongue and hes

gagging and making these
terrible sounds and i start to
laugh so i finally let him go
and we both slam back down
into our chairs

and i laugh again and slap my
knees and say well then and
i get up to leave and right
before i get to the door he

gets his voice back all hoarse
and says -richie you little
prick i knew you were going
to do that-

and i look back at him and
arch my eyebrows say yeah
i dont think so

i spit on his ikea rug and tell
him if that were true you
wouldve brushed yr fucking
teeth

and i open the door slip out
quietly and slowly and
deliberately close it after me

so what do you think dee dee
pretty awesome or what-

and im sitting there staring at
richie with my mouth wide
open and i have no idea what
to think or say except

-holy shit holy shit you
fucking kissed him- and
richie laughs again -smack
dab right on the lips

-i am fucking king shit- and
im like -what the fuck did
you do that for- and he looks
at me like im an idiot

-cuz im in love with him
what do you fucking think he
cant control me he cant
predict what im gonna do

-fuck him and his path of
least resistance ive read krol
unedited krol hes got nothing
on me- i go

-but why the kiss- and richie
shrugs -i didnt have a lot of
props at my disposal dee dee
i came up with that one on
the fly-

i just stop for a minute and
shake my head -so what does
all this mean though- and
richie gets all serious for a
second

-what it means dee dee is
that yr learning curve just got
a whole lot steeper- and he
jumps up

and hes out of my room as
fast as he came in and im
sitting there still reeling

just trying to somehow catch
up with him as usual

"RICHIE" TWITTER MARATHON: October 9, 8pm ET

I'm going to be posting Chapter Twenty-Nine of "Richie" in its entirety on Twitter the evening of Friday, October 9 at 8pm Eastern Time. It should take me between 90-120 minutes, so if any of you folks are available/so inclined you should come see.

The reason I am doing this is to avoid the potential for misinterpretation in posting a charged piece of writing like Chapter Twenty-Nine in little bite-sized chunks over a series of days that may turn off many followers who aren't ready for it. Another reason (and the reason for this post) is that the kind people who read my stuff week to week here at the blog are of many different nationalities, races, genders, etc. and Chapter Twenty-Nine deals with three particularly charged topics: gender, race and violence.

Of course, I would hope that folks that read my work frequently would just automatically assume my sincerity in working towards an artistic goal with this novel, but I think that posting the entire thing so that a context for all of Richie's actions can be seen (whether you or I agree with those actions) and processed is a good plan. Sorry for being so cryptic, but if I say any more I may as well just post the chapter here and now but we're only up to Chapter Twenty-Three on the blog and Chapter Twenty-Four (posting this Friday) is a motherfucker as well, so if you aren't Paul Squires and weren't reading as I posted it on Twitter, you should come back Friday.

Thank you all for reading, as always.

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

next day i get back to the
dorm after school and i walk
by richies room and hes
standing by the side of his
bed

and hes looking at the wall
and i dont say anything but
just walk closer to the door
and all the pictures

of salinas on 12/01 have been
ripped down the wall is
empty except for little pieces
of tape and tack holes

and little fragments of paper
still fluttering here and there
and richie reaches out to
touch one with his finger

then sadly just lets his arm
drop to his side and continues
to stare at the now empty
wall and i

want to go in and say
something or do something
but i have no idea what and
the ripped pictures arent even
there

crumpled on the floor or in
the garbage can theyre just
gone basically and im angry
and confused but mostly

im just sad cuz ive never seen
richie like this its strange he
just looks defeated and
weirdly old like not 16 but

like a grown man and not in a
good way like idk middle-
aged and sad like my dad or
something and i just

keep standing there looking
at him and i want to leave
before he turns and sees me
but its like i cant

i just keep watching him idk
why its like i have nothing to
gain but i just keep watching
him anyway

and then i hear this like
happy shout come from the
common room and i look
over and justin comes out
smiling

he sweeps the hair out of his
eyes and sees me -hey
somebody put the g5 back-
he waits for a reaction

but i dont really know what
to say so he goes -so thats
cool- and then he walks up
to richies door

moves in next to me in the
doorway and goes -hey
richie cuddys office called
the dorm he wants to see
you- then turns

back to me -were playing
gridiron extreme- then
smiles again and goes right
back into the common room
i turn back to richie

in time to see his chin drop to
his chest he doesnt say
anything doesnt move again

and suddenly i dont want to
stay any longer so i just turn
around and leave

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so a couple of days later the
g5 goes missing from the
common room which is weird
cuz it wasnt the memory card

or one of the games but the
entire system which doesnt
make any sense cuz first off
how could someone hide it
and secondly

no one could use it in their
room or something without
everyone knowing but either
way its gone and after school
cuddy and nulles

and a few of the physical
plant workers come to the
dorm and start doing room
searches looking for it and
none of the guys object at all

including me and they go
through almost like
apologetically and when they
actually find something like
porn

or weed or a bottle of vodka
cuddy just goes like –watley
take care of this- or
–malachowski i dont want to
see this again-

and they just move on not
even taking the stuff they
found which is kinda crazy to
me but the physical plant
guys are

totally stone faced they just
seem to be there to like
lift mattresses and stuff and it
feels super weird when they
go through my room

but they dont find anything
and cuddys just like all
sheepish –sorry- and im like
–its cool- and nulles just
stands there with his

red glasses and tight little
mouth all creepy and shit and
they just move on to the next
one and all of us just kind of
follow

from room to room and
watch all clustered around the
doorways as they do exactly
the same thing to everybody
and find no g5 of course

but then they get to richies
room and it gets like tenser
cuz i think a lot of the guys
here think richie did it even
though

i know thats absolutely
ridiculous but when were all
standing at his door frejean
goes to tyshawn –he
definitely did it

-he hates video games- and i
go –why the fuck would he
steal the g5 if he hates it so
much- and frejean looks over
his shoulder at me

like im retarded -so none of
us can play it dumbass- then
he looks at tyshawn shakes
his head and looks back into
the room

where cuddy and nulles and
the physical plant guys are
standing in front of richies
bed taking up almost all of
the available space

and richies sitting on the bed
with his arms folded and
cuddy smiles at him -richie
you know what were doing
here may i take a look

-through yr room for the
missing g5- richie smiles
back -no you may not-
cuddy mustve been expecting
this cuz he just goes

-why would you respond to
my request in that manner i
wonder- and richies smile
nearly breaks when he says
-because its invasive

-because its condescending
because it betrays trust-
cuddy raises his eyebrows
-trust- richie says –yes

-you should just ask me if i
did it id say no why the hell
would i you trust me the
end- cuddy gestures briefly
back at all of us

at the door -none of yr
classmates had any problem
with the search- and richie
looks away shrugs looks
back

-maybe they didnt think it
through clearly enough- and
someone not frejean shouts
from the back -let him look
asshole- and a few

guys laugh cuddy turns
shakes his head gestures with
his hand silence again his
tone is regretful -you know if
you dont let us search

-and all yr classmates do-
breathes -the finger of
suspicion will remain pointed
at you rightfully or not- tilts
his head

-can you withstand that sort
of pressure- and richie
doesnt even acknowledge the
threat -sure because i didnt
do it and you

-and everyone else should
believe me when i say that-
and cuddy is about to go on
when his eye is caught by
something on the bed

-is that yr teddy bear richie-
and richie smiles -sure is
thats ah pook the destroyer-
and nulles grunts and cuddys
face falls

-did you spray paint the wall
in the commons richie- and
richie doesnt look away but
doesnt respond either cuddy
steps closer

-did you take my car richie-
and richie looks away and
cuddy nods bites his lower lip
-okay i think were done
here-

then goes to turn away but he
is stopped again by all the
salinas school shooting stuff
taped up on richies wall he
gestures to it

-do you think this is
appropriate- and richie looks
up at the wall then back to
cuddy -i didnt know we had
to clear

-our room decorations with
you too- cuddy nods -room
decorations hmm- turns to
the physical plant guys -lets
move on- and they backtrack

through us at the door but
nulles stares at richie for a
few moments seething and
richie just stares back until
nulles grunts

turns on his heel and
steamrollers through the door
after hes gone the guys pour
into the room tyshawn goes
-were gonna get you

-you fucking asshole- and
frejean points at richie
-fucking dick that g5 better
be back tonight- richie clicks
his tongue and shrugs

and everyone else leaves but
me i ask him -what was that
all about- and richie starts
sorting a pile of books on his bed

-im just not gonna put up
with that kind of shit- and i
go -but if you let them look
they wouldnt have found
anything

-and this would already be
over for you now everybody
thinks you did it- richie sighs
-yeah i know but i didnt- and
i think for a minute

-is this like a principle thing-
and richie straightens up
looks at me -yeah its like a
principle thing-

i sit down on the other end of
the bed and start looking
through the books -you
know everyone thinks im an
asshole

-for even hanging out with
you- and he scoffs -so dont-
and i find this book by phillip
k dick and leaf through it

while richie keeps sorting and
silently making little stacks
of books between us on the
bed

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so next morning richie slaps
me on the leg and the impact
travels in a wave all the way
up my body and stops at my
head

where it wakes me with this
thudding horrible ache that is
instantly worse than anything
ive ever felt before

followed by an intense
feeling of blind panic -holy
shit holy shit did you take
the car back- i attempt to sit
up on the bed

which fails completely and
then i fall slowly back to the
pillow moaning richie laughs
-yeah yeah i took it back we
didnt get caught-

my suffering abates for a
moment -good- and then he
says –i left cuddy a note on
the steering wheel thanking
him for the loan though-

im reeling and i cant tell if
hes fucking with me or not
-oh god tell me yr kidding
me- and he says -naw i didnt
write that

-i wouldnt write something
like that- and again the pain
recedes for a second he goes
on -i wrote –ah pook is here-
on a post-it

-and left that on the steering
wheel- and i cant even get
pissed anymore -whatever
man- i just roll over

then he says -i didnt come
over to tell you that i came
over to tell you what i figured
out after last night

-about what you asked me in
the car- and i just moan
-jesus christ i dont care just
leave me alone- and put my
hands over my ears

his voice becomes oddly
thoughtful -you know when
you asked me that if we are
friends i actually had to think
about that-

i take my hands away from
my head and sigh -oh great i
cant wait to hear the rest-

-no really i mean theres
gotta be some reason i hang
out with yr beaver cleaver ass
right-

i dont say anything already
getting tired of being insulted
and hes just getting started

-what it is i think you
remind me of somebody that
i used to know that i really
liked- he stops for a minute

-or better yet i mean you
remind me of the kind of
person that person wouldve
really liked

-she was always saying i was
way too hard on everybody
except her and she wouldve
liked you a lot

-she wouldve been pissed at
me for being mean to you
and maybe she wouldve been
right so i guess we are friends-

im dizzy now -are you
talking about leander-

he shakes his head scowls
-no not at all-

//something goes off in my
brain through the fog//

-you mean jane jane tulle-
gannett-

his back straightens
involuntarily stops moving
tries to laugh it off -what-

-you do jane tulle-gannett
the dead woman we went to
see her grave-

he grimaces -you fucking
smackhead she was dead
before i was even born how
would that even be possible-

i kinda laugh -i dont know
but its her i dont know how
but it is her- i laugh again
-its her i remind you of or
someone shed like

-or whatever- richie gets up
shakes his head pats the bed
-okay hungover guy get
some rest apparently you
still got a lot to sleep off-

im amazed -i cant believe i
figured it out holy shit its
jane tulle-

and he cuts me off -just shut
up you dont know what the
fuck yr talking about just
shut up and go to sleep-

walks out of the room -dont
know why i even tried to be
nice to you fucking
smackhead-

but im right and i know im
right and i drift back off into
fuzzy half-sleep trying to
figure out how that could
possibly be

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

i am drunk and stoned and i
am riding shotgun in a stolen
car and i have never felt
better in my life

i kissed a girl tonight and i
danced with another one and
i can still smell them on me
even with the window down

and the heater on
the air rushing in on my face
and through my hair is making
my skin feel alive with the
glory of love

and i know tomorrow im
gonna feel weird and
regretful about a couple of
the things that happened but

this other thing is buggin me
and i know im loaded but i
wanna know so i go ahead
and ask him anyway

-richie- nothing -richie-
nothing –RICHIE-
-what what i thought you
were asleep- and i realize my
eyes are closed

i open them turn in the seat
–are you my friend- and he
laughs –what what the hell
are you talking about-

-you heard me are you my
friend- he smiles funny says
–dee dee why would you ask
me something like this-

-cuz i dont know why you
hang out with me you always
say nasty stuff about me and
put me down

-and you dont even call me
by my goddamned real name
its desmond DESMOND-

-dee dee i know what yr real
name is- sighs almost –i dont
wanna call you the same
thing yr parents call you

-do you think my real name is
richie- and i think about it
for a second but i am way too
buzzed and i say

-no man no thats not it man
its about respect- and richie
laughs and laughs then asks
me if im mack daddy or
daddy mack

and i tell him to eat me and
he says something even ruder
back but by the time im ready
to respond im halfway up the
stairs

and then im in my bed
somehow and i think to
myself maybe i should take
my wet sneakers off

and then suddenly it doesnt
matter anymore

OVERLOAD ON OVERLAND!

The poets have taken over Overland! Go to http://web.overland.org.au/ and check out the many Overload Festival happenings being created and overseen by the lovely and talented Maxine Clarke!

RICHIE - CHAPTER NINETEEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

when i find leanders room
again the vibe is totally
different and theres a lot less
girls and the music seems
strange

and jackies talking to the
redhead with the big tits and
they are kind of giving me
the stink eye now

but richie and leander are
back and richies in this like
recliner totally smug grinning
at me

and i totally dont want to deal
with his bullshit so instead i
walk over to the window
where leanders smoking a
blunt

and blowing it outside and i
just sit down next to her and
go -i guess i kind of blew it
with jackie-

and shes holding in her hit
and goes -you boys watch
too much porn- and then she
blows it out and in her
normal voice goes

-you couldve totally got some
tonight too if you hadnt gone
about it so like clumsily-
and shakes her head

and i feel like an asshole but
she just goes -whatever- and
hands me a pbr -do you want
some of this- with the blunt

and i open the pbr and go
-sure- and i puff it real
careful so i dont get it spitty
or take too much and cough

so i blow my hit out and hand
it back and sip on my pbr she
blows on the cherry takes
another hit

and i ask her -what kind of
name is leander- just trying
to make conversation but it
comes out wrong

she doesnt seem to care
though -my name is actually
oleander like the flower-
and i ask -why do they call
you leander then-

-no one calls me that just
richie- and i go -thats
hilarious no one else calls
me dee dee either- and she
smiles her sleepy smile

-he told me he couldnt handle
the shock every time he said
my name- and i look at her
like not understanding at all

and she bolts upright eyes all
big in mock surprise -OH
leander- and i get it and
laugh and she laughs with me

and everything starts feeling
okay again and she hands the
blunt back to me and i take a
bigger hit and cough it out a
little

but its not a big deal and she
laughs again and i ask her
-how long have you and
richie been together-

she runs her hand through her
hair and goes -were not
really together really-
pauses a second -hes in love
with someone else-

and the weed is kicking in
now and i go -yeah hes in
love with himself- and she
looks at me for a second

then bursts into this huge
laugh and i look at richie and
hes totally confused and then
back at leander and she goes

-yr okay dee dee- and smiles
her smile and i go -yr okay
too leander- and she takes
the last hit and stubs it out

and the music changes again
and now its all piano and this
snaky guitar but its kind of
romantic too like slow and
sinuous

and leander sits up -dance
with me- and im all -i cant
dance- and she says -its
slow anyone can slow dance-
she nods at richie

-he wont do it- so i go
-okay- and we get up and she
puts my hands on her hips
and shows me how and it
seems really quiet

like everyone else stopped
talking but im really high so i
dont care and we dance and
the singer is doing these aah
aah ah ah ahhhs

and it feels great and i look
over at richie and hes smiling
but like surprised at the
same time but thats cool too

leander moves me in time to
it and theres more aah aah ah
ah ahhhs and we lock in
pretty much

she puts her head on my
shoulder and her hair smells
good but a different kind of
good slighter somehow
more subtle

and then the song ends and
richie is suddenly next to us
and goes -dee dee and lee lee
sittin in a tree tree-

and she lifts her head and he
kisses her hair then says to
me all serious

-we had better go-

RICHIE - CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so im kind of shocked at how
many girls they fit into the
room in addition to how
many wanted to come down

its only me and richie and hes
cool and all but im just me
but theyre all being super
nice to me anyway

and were drinking vodka and
gatorade out of these plastic
martini glasses that leander
has and i feel like my parents

at a party in the 70s or
something but i kind of get it
like if a couple of girls from
boxer showed up

at fairview all the guys in the
dorm would definitely all
pack in and the music is
great all scratchy records

like hip hop samples and
some are pretty funky and
some are like cocktail party
jazz or something

which is probably why i
thought of my parents in the
70s im actually pretty
buzzed even though i only
had one drink

but i think maybe its partly
the lights and the music and
then this girl jackie refills my
drink and shes being

super nice to me and i like
her smile and her skirt and
her hair smells like
strawberries when she leans
in

to pour my drink and I go
–strawberry blonde- like to
myself but she hears and goes
–what- but i feel weird and i
go

-nothing- but even though i
feel super awkward she keeps
smiling and i smile back and
it seems like

all of the sudden im in a
place where i cant fuck it up
like i usually do and it feels
great

and i look around and then i
cant find richie or leander
and i guess they went
somewhere else

but the other girls are all still
talking and laughing and
leanders roommate with the
curly red hair and big tits
keeps changing the records

when the songs end and i
kind of want to go talk to her
but jackie keeps smiling and
talking to me

and even though her tits are
pretty small shes cute and she
smells great so i sit and drink
with her

and i realize with richie gone
im the only guy in the room
and thats crazy i feel like
hugh hefner but like much
much younger

and i finish my drink and i
wanna slow things down cuz
i dont wanna get sick cuz it
seems like

thats the only thing that could
mess all this up so i try to get
up and get one of those pbr
out of the fridge before jackie
pours me more

but when i try i get a
headrush and im like -whoa-
and sit back down and a
bunch of girls laugh and it
takes me back a second

but the laughs arent mean and
then i laugh too jackie gets
up laughing grabs my hand
says -lets get you some air-
and pulls me up

and she doesnt let go and it
feels great she leads me
through the room in slow
motion and they all look at us
and she doesnt let go

not embarrassed at all and i
feel like im in a movie
especially with the lights and
the music its awesome

and jackies laughing and we
go down the hall fluorescent
light like another weird world
outside of leanders room

and we go to her room and its
not the same at all but its still
cool and the low hum of the
music from down the hall is
still there underneath

and its soothing cuz im
totally nervous under the
drunk part but we sit down on
her bed and she goes -do you
feel better now- laughing

and im like -yeah- and she
just keeps looking at me
smiling and i lean in and kiss
her

and she kisses back and its
awesome shes a really good
kisser or at least better than
the other girls

ive kissed and we keep
kissing and i put my hand on
her knee and her skin is like
super soft and

she makes a tiny little sound
under the kissing and im
super into it so i reach my
hand

under her skirt to touch her
pussy and then she pulls back
and goes -wtf- and im
confused so i go –what- and
she gets up

shaking her head goes
-maybe we should go back-
and im still confused and im
like -what- and she just goes
out the door

so im alone in her room for a
second and its totally weird
so i get up still buzzed and go
on back down the hall

but i stop in the bathroom and
splash a whole bunch of
water on my face and look in
the mirror

and the cold water makes me
feel a little better but really
not better at all

RICHIE - CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

i swear to god that it took her
one whole minute to smile i
mean seriously from start to
finish 60 seconds

breaking across her face like
a new sunrise or something
but i found out over time she
does everything slowly

even stuff that you cant or
shouldnt she has long dirty
blonde hair little spray of
nose freckles sleepy eyes

red and blue flannel shirt
faded jeans rainbow toe sox
a real slim slow slider she
talks like she smiles but
–richie-

is all she says richie rocks
back on his heels hands in
front pockets -whats up
leander- smiles pauses like
waiting for something

and whatever it is she wont
give it -not much to what do
i owe it- seems like its been
awhile but she wont say so

-ah nothing really fairview
is boring as hell-

leander shrugs -boxer isnt
much better i hope that it
was worth the trip over-
knowing that it was would
have to be

-yeah well this is dee dee
leander i had to get him off
campus- and i ask her -did
we wake you up-

and richie winces and leander
turns to me with those sleepy
eyes says -no i just always
look like this-

and it takes forever but that
smile finally breaks across
her face and i know im ok
richie says –are we coming in
or what-

and leanders head rolls on her
shoulders and she falls
backwards into a cartwheel
so slow it seems like gravity
gives her a pass

and richie big boots thuds in
i step over the threshold and
its like a different world in
there all of a sudden girl
world

everything inside is somehow
more colorful better-lit
sweeter-smelling softer than
everything that exists outside

its only the size of a regular
double at fairview but for
some reason seems 10 times
bigger longer more space

there are like blue and
purple tapestries hung
everywhere and they replaced
all the regular fluorescents
with

colored aquarium lights and
the music is soft and it hangs
in the air like the incense
traces

not like cheap weed-
eradicator incense like youd
smell in our dorm but
somehow lighter and idk
more romantic

a cardboard cowboy stand-up
is right in the middle of the
room by the windows guns
drawn and by his feet theres

this little red record player
with the speakers stretched
out to either side of his wildly
bowed legs and at either end
of the room

miles apart are their beds and
each one is like mounded
with pillows and comforters
and i just wanna

crawl in there in the soft and
the warm and like never
leave

but then the little fridge shuts
with a clank and im back and
leander goes -well weve got
3 cans of pbr thats it

-my roommate knows some
girls down the hall whove got
some vodka- she shrugs puts
her hands in her pockets

richie nods - you better get
that vodka this kids pretty
uptight we gotta mellow him
out a touch-

and i turn to him embarrassed
and go -fuck you- way too
loud and he looks at leander
and says

-see what i mean- and
leander raises her eyebrows
then stretches and says
-well i got some weed-

richie says -good well need
it- and she smiles sleepily
slaps her denimed thighs and
goes -it-is-decided- and
moves to the door

but stops at richie and says
quieter -its good to see you i
didnt know if you were
gonna come around anymore-

and richies all -yeah well
im full of surprises- and she
nods -yeah- and slips out the
door

leaving it open about halfway
and richie squats by the
record player and starts
pawing through the 45s

and im like -whyd you have
to say that shit about me-
and he doesnt look up but
goes

-dee dee if i knew you were
gonna get this bunged up
over nothing i never wouldve
brought you-

and this shuts me up so i just
kind of look around for a
minute then im like -is she
gonna get in trouble

-for having us here- and
richie says all irritated -did
she look worried-

but then he looks up from the
records -boxer is just like
fairview dee dee as long as
the money flows everybodys
happy

-as long as nobody falls out
the window and gets on the
news its just a party- he
smiles then for a second

-its just a party dee dee-