"STRANDED..." TWITTER NOVEL: INTRO

let me

let me hear you

let me hear you say YEAH

JUST THROW YR HANDS UP IN THE AIR

+ WAVE EM AROUND LIKE YOU JUST DONT CARE

let me

hear you

BROTHERS + SISTERS

ARE YOU READY TO TESTIFY

(let me)

CAN I GET A WITNESS

(hear you)

IS ANYONE HERE READY TO ROCK

(say yeah)

RIGHT NOW right now

RIGHT NOW right now

RIGHT NOW ITS TIME TO

KICK OUT THE JAMS MOTHERFUCKER

(let me

say yeah)

for those about to rock we salute you

+ its one

two

one two three FOUR

GM'S "LOYALTY" ONLY EXTENDS TO NEW CUSTOMERS

Hey folks,

Sorry about this but my blog post this week is up on TheSqueakyWheel.com. This is because I got screwed over by a local GM dealer and I can barely believe it. GM got bailed out by the goddamn federal government and now they are building customer loyalty by cheating their current customer base? Nice move, guys. Wonder why you're going out of business or why the Asian automakers are kicking your ass? Here's the answer.

Please, if you've ever enjoyed anything I've written here, go to http://bit.ly/chtMFc and read my piece. Every time someone clicks on it another notice goes to GM telling them that the word is spreading. As of tonight, I'm up to 304 reads. Thanks in advance for yr help.

MY LITTLE MELTDOWN

Okay, so about a week ago I had a little meltdown on the Twitter. I guess I was still pretty high from finishing 'Richie' and was in talks with the agent so I bit off way more than I could chew. Not only did I start two new Twitter novels (the other one was @zombie_vs_shark, which will still continue) but eventually realized once I got about two chapters into "Stranded..." that it simply wasn't very good. Or it is a transitional piece, and really shouldn't be posted without serious revision. Or something. Either way, "Stranded..." had/has problems and it needed to be discontinued.

The problem was that a lot of kind people had helped me pump up the new Twitter novel with 'retweets' and support and once I figured out that I had to discontinue "Stranded..." I felt like a huge asshole. So instead of posting more boring bits of "Stranded..." I just let loose about how stupid the whole thing made me feel, and I got some great advice from folks and, once again, some good support. The Twitter novel is actually a pretty harsh taskmistress, and I didn't realize until I attempted "Stranded..." how lucky I got the first time. Anyway, I'll be posting the two completed chapters on the blog over the next week and you can judge for yrselves.

GOOD NEWS!

Hey folks! Good news - there's an interview with me on the In To Views site - http://intoviews.wordpress.com/2010/01/22/jason-gusmann/ - pretty cool! Check out the whole site if you have time - they've got a really interesting cross-section of interviews on there.

Also, I have officially this date signed the contract to be represented by the Tribe Literary Agency and the estimable Cari Hawks Foulk - TribeLit is a really interesting grassroots experiment with the whole representation thing, and I'm honestly proud to be a part of it. We'll see what happens!

GOODBYE CIGARETTES

i know this love is over

but no one can know how hard it is

to let you go

because loving you is loving death

and thats been the sweetest

its always been the sweetest

all the warnings in the world just made it sweeter

this deferred embrace

-but daddy always told me

dont leave the girl yr with

until youve found a new one

to take her place-

so what then?

healthy

i will love healthy

i will love myself

vitamins + vitamin water

regular exercise

a balanced diet

goodbye sweetness

goodbye measured tinctures of death

so boring

you wanna put a bullet in yr brain

some will read this + laugh at all the romantic drama

but they will never know the joy

of having a drink with you

or sipping strong coffee in yr stronger atmosphere

or reaching across to kiss you in the car

when the perfect driving song comes on

you drew my attention

to every breath i took

even as you brought them ever shorter

you made me feel invulnerable

inhaling my armor

a tiny glowing weapon in my fist

never alone walking in the dark

yr other lovers

sprawled across time + space

never made me jealous

there was always enough love

(death)

to go around

but this relationship needs to end

when i havent seen you for awhile

that first kiss feels so good

but midway through

i forget im kissing you

and we cannot continue this way

i need you the most when yr away

but when yr back

so quickly we take each other for granted again

this relationship needs to end

how could i love you for so long

+ have it go this wrong

ive been trying to get back that first year

for the last eight

got to get used to being haunted by you

so i will bury my love

go different places

see other people

+ deny that we were ever lovers

when i see you

i will look away

+ when i smell yr scent

i will block it out

+ on the long drive

i will reach for you

+ you wont be there

i love you

i will always love you

but i know this relationship has to end

what love

could possibly take its place?

COMPUTER DOWN!

Hey - I forgot to post on here after I announced this on twitter - better get my priorities in order. Our computer went down, and went down hard (I'm writing this on a loaner). I temporarily lost all my writing and notes for STRANDED...the new twitter novel and all the other things I was working on. Luckily, the IT guy we've got has saved pretty much everything so next week I should be back up to speed on both the blog and twitter. Next up is a long poem I'm writing about quitting smoking. Ugh.

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so of course after all that the
next time richie wants to steal
a car it has to be nulles car

apparently mrs cuddy is gone
which provides richie with a
convenient excuse not to take
his and its not like

stealing cuddys car was
relaxing or anything but with
nulles its somehow scarier
cuz if cuddy caught us

thered probably be cops and
it would be a nightmare but if
nulles catches us it seems like
theres a real possibility

that he will actually kill us
but richie doesnt care and i
dont really have a choice in
the matter so we

sneak out and down the road
to the off campus housing
again and the warmer
weather makes it easier to
hide cuz

theres hardly any snow which
is great cuz we actually need
to hide this time when a car
comes and me and richie

duck into the bushes and they
dont see us and we cant tell
whos driving from where we
are but whatever

and we climb back out onto
the road and finish the trek to
nulles house and richie goes
into the garage

and i watch the street and i
can see richie in there with a
penlight doing something and
then hes

lifting the garage door super
slow and it still makes more
noise than i want it to but
then its open

and he motions me in and for
some reason its easier for
richie to get into nulles
lincoln continental than

cuddys bmw but i dont ask
why i just help him push it
into the street and i look up at

the darkened windows of the
house and i swear i see the
gleam of red tinted glasses
and i go

-holy shit holy shit- and
richie goes -what- and i
whisper -i think i saw nulles-
and richie looks back from

the drivers door where hes
pushing and goes -its
nothing dee dee keep
pushing- and i look back and

theres nothing there now so i
keep pushing until were in
the street and richie jumps in
and ten seconds later it starts
with a roar

which scares the shit out of
me but then after that it runs
really quiet so i calm myself
and get in

and we roll slowly out and
onto the highway and richie
guns it a little bit but its not
nearly as responsive

as the bmw and richie goes
-just like his poky ass to drive
something like this- and i
look through

the glove box and the visor
and theres nothing no cds
and hardly anything really
and richie goes -dont bother

-he doesnt leave any traces
no personality you see- and i
kind of dont get it but i put on
the radio and its all like the
factory presets

one rock one jazz one top
forty one christian and its
weird but it kind of makes
sense with what richie said

so i turn off the radio and
turn to him and ask -so
where are we going tonight-
trying not to sound

nervous and weird so he
doesnt get all uptight with me
again and he smiles -its a
surprise- and i go

-so were not going back to
boxer- kind of disappointed
and richie goes -its a surprise
if i told you

-it wouldnt be a surprise
anymore- and i just sit back
-okay cool- and he sneaks a
look at me and smiles

-ill just tell you this dee dee
you will never forget this
night as long as you live-
and i laugh

-okay cryptic guy ill try not
to explode with anticipation-
and richie goes -nice use of
the word cryptic dee dee-

and im pleased in spite of
myself -yeah i thought so-
so we keep driving and
eventually we end up in
white rock

and richie pulls into an all
night drugstore -i gotta leave
this thing running wait here-
and im like

-where the fuck am i gonna
go- and he smiles slams the
door and runs in

and were actually in a pretty
sketchy part of white rock
and theres like crackheads
and other creeps all over

walking by and shouting at
each other so i just put on the
radio and avoid making eye
contact

but i cant keep myself from
trying to imagine where were
gonna go and what we could
possibly be doing here

and then richies back and he
throws a big bag in the back
seat and i hear plastic bottles
tumbling around in there

and i go -jesus that was
quick- and richie smiles and
puts the lincoln in gear -i
didnt want to take the chance

-that youd get too nervous
and ditch me- and i scoff -as
if- and richie backs out into
the street

almost running over this
homeless guy in the process
and then were off again and
richie starts slowing down in
this

even seedier part of white
rock where theres like all
these empty factories and
dingy bars and then i start
noticing

some of the women looking
into the car as we pass and
then richie goes -so which
one do you want-

and i sigh -what are you
talking about richie- and he
repeats himself -which-one-
do-you-want

-were popping yr cherry
tonight boy- and suddenly all
those skinny women peering
into the car come into focus
and i exclaim

-what with a fucking hooker-
and richie calmly replies -of
course with a fucking hooker
you dont think yr ever

-gonna get any pussy sitting
around the dorm playing
pimptastic 2 do you- then he
laughs -yr performance at
boxer

-didnt exactly flood me with
confidence in yr abilities
either- then he shrugs
-besides its my treat- and im
like

-gee thanks- and i look out
at all the smeary red and blue
lights -i didnt know catching
aids was gonna be the
surprise-

richie snorts dismissively -yr
not gonna catch aids- he
reaches into the back seat and
shakes the plastic bag

-thats what all this is for- and
i dont say anything for a
minute until i say

-i dont want my first time to
be with some fucking whore-
and i realize as soon as i say
it

that its the first time i ever
admitted to that ever
especially to richie but he just
takes it in stride

-why dee dee do you think
you might regret it- and i
just quietly go -fuck you-
and he laughs at me

and then slows the car to a
crawl as we approach this
especially dimly lit corner
and he goes -there she is

-thats the one- and he swings
the steering wheel around
lazily and we come to a stop
and im all -what do you
mean-

-what the fuck is- and then
shes there at the passenger
side bobbing up and down
stick thin and black

short dyed blonde hair
scarred lips yellow eyes and
mottled teeth shes wearing a
satin jacket even though its
way too cold

but her black leather
miniskirt cant be helping
either she totters on stiletto
heels while richie finds the
window toggle

even though im gesturing
frantically for him not to the
window comes down and she
leans in over me grinning

showing a pipe stem shaped
divide in her teeth -hey baby
you on yr way to a party-
and richie goes -yeah you
wanna come with us-

the sound of his voice makes
her face drop and she kisses
her teeth -i dont do no father
and son shit

-thats fucked up- richie leans
into the light of the street
lamp -im younger than he is-
and he points to me

she looks at us shakes her
head then looks again -lunch
money motherfuckers you
aint got shit

-no money motherfuckers
shit- she starts backing away
stilettos clacking on the
pavement and i see my
chance and whisper

to richie -drive drive drive-
but he just says -no wait-
and he pulls something out of
his jacket and holds his hand
out towards her

and opens his fist palm up
and theres a fat green roll
sitting there tied with two
rubber bands and he says to
her

-my dad gave me some extra
lunch money today- and she
peers in again and her tone
becomes immediately
businesslike

-okay what you do is you
drive up here make that first
left at the light- and richie
puts the money away

says -no get in well take
you to the party- and she
straightens up theatrically
-fuck you- and richie goes

-look i just want to have a
party i dont wanna meet yr
pimp or yr brother or anyone
in the closet

-or behind the door i just
wanna take you to the lamp
lighter inn and have a party-
and her face softens a little

i dont know why -the lamp
lighter- richie nods -yeah
yeah- she looks off does the
math in her head shrugs

-okay- she goes to the rear
door and richie looks for the
toggle to unlock it while i just
sit there going –fuck fuck
fuck-

she climbs in all elbows and
knees pulls the door shut
behind her grinning again
-all right babies were gonna
have a good time now-

she pulls out a compact and
tentatively touches her face
-just dont fall in love with me
that happens sometimes

-the first time you know- and
richie pulls out into the street
looks into the rearview -first
time what first time-

she explodes in laughter -oh
baby the first time you drove
a car the fuck you think- she
shakes her head and laughs
again

-the first time you drove a car
the fuck you think- richie
laughs with her and i just
kind of

hug my sides and tighten up
even more

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

the weather breaks for a little
while after that and even
though its still gray and
slushy

its kind of unseasonably
warm like almost in the 50s
and the one morning im
walking over to the school
with richie

and hes being sullen and
weird like usual but whatever
and we walk past the wall
outside the commons where
the graffiti was

and the physical plant guys
are taking advantage of the
weather and theyre out there
with the sandblasting
equipment

getting rid of the writing and
nulles is out there watching
them with his red glasses and
twitchy little mouth

and richie stops to watch
them work and it takes me a
few seconds to realize hes not
with me

and i look back and richies
watching and grinning and
apparently nulles sees him
cuz he lumbers over there

and i walk back to where they
are cuz i dont wanna miss
this and i cant hear the first
thing nulles says to richie but

richie keeps smiling at nulles
and goes -let it come down-
and i think hes talking about
the graffiti but that

wouldnt make sense cuz then
nulles goes -you have
literally no idea what yr
messing with here none- and
then

i must catch his eye cuz he
gestures to me and says to
richie -why dont you tell yr
little friend

-how weve both been here
before- and i look at richie
and go -fairview- and he
narrows his eyes and shakes
his head

-dee dee has enough to figure
out right now- and nulles
chuckles -dee dee thats right
i forgot how fond you are

-of nicknames- then the
smile drops -no matter
whatever yr trying to do here
its not gonna work- and
richie laughs

-apres moi le deluge- and
nulles tightens up even more
-i dont believe you- and
richie stops laughing

and his voice gets low and
even -you know as well as i
do that fairview is all shiny
and new on top

-and the foundation
underneath is rotten and weak
and all its gonna take is just
enough pressure from above

-before the whole thing
crashes down around yr
ankles- and nulles doesnt say
anything for a minute but
then

he smiles a tight little smile
and says -well see richie
well see- and turns back
towards the wall

and walks over to watch the
workers some more and
richie doesnt take his eyes off
him and i go -what the fuck

-is going on here- and richie
scoffs but doesnt stop
watching nulles -just another
asshole in a long series of
assholes

-this world is just chock full
of them- and he starts
walking back and im still
totally unsatisfied and i go
-wait wait wait

-what was all that shit about
before and everything
collapsing and you not
knowing what yr messing
with-

and richie looks off
thoughtfully -you know i
really think hes just mad cuz i
kissed cuddy and not him-

and i almost throw up in my
mouth a little bit -jesus christ
can you imagine holy shit
thats gross- and richie laughs
and nods

-kissing cuddy was no picnic
either but that i mean nulles
you dont come back from shit
like that ever

-they dont make a
mouthwash that strong- and
that makes me laugh and
richie laughs again

and were at the door by then
so we just go inside laughing

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shoustesu)

next day isaacs class and
richie comes in slams his
stuff down next to me drops
into the chair

goes –so did you dig into
any of those books yet- and i
look over at him and go
-yeah

-i started naked lunch- and
he smiles -oh really what do
you think so far- and im like
-its pretty gay

-i mean like really gay i
didnt know there was gonna
be that much cocksucking
and shit-

richie shrugs -yeah but you
just have to ignore that or like
deal with it the ideas are
whats important

-especially the stuff about
control systems and that- and
im like -i dont know if i can
ignore all that

-i mean its pretty gay are the
other books like that- and
richie looks at me disgusted
-yeah dee dee theyre all like
that

-i set you up for a real
cocksucking frenzy- and im
about to respond when isaacs
walks in and slams the door
behind him

-all right swine- he grins
-prepare yrselves for the
pearls of learning i am about
to cast before ye-

he puts his papers down and
sits at the head of the table
-okay so catcher in the rye
there were probably enough

-swear words to keep yr
interest this time around- and
we go to work and go
through the whole character
arc

and the man vs self plotline
and eventually we get to the
source of the title in holdens
dream about the kids in the
rye

and i can like feel richie
getting antsy next to me
isaacs goes into the
symbolism of it and before
the words

-christ imagery- even leave
his lips richie is all over him
-why is it always christ every
single time

-its as if theres never been
another story of rebirth and
sacrifice in all of world
mythology- and isaacs
tightens up

goes -richie i have no issues
with you not believing in
christ or christian belief
systems but an argument can
definitely be made

-for the imagery being
directly related holdens
constant repetition of the
name christ throughout- and
richie cuts him off

-look- and his voice is
almost shaking -i get it but
physical rebirth is within
reach of every single one of
us

-and to always act like jesus
christ has some kind of
fucking monopoly on it- and
isaacs raises his voice
-RICHIE-

and i dont know if hes getting
pissed cuz richies arguing
again or cuz this is the kind
of shit that gets teachers fired

-i appreciate that you are
passionate about the subject
but again the tone and tenor
of salingers work directly
supports

-references to holden as a
christ figure- and richie
replies -i get it i get that my
issue is that anyone everyone
is given the choice

-to return from physical
death- and isaacs slams his
threadbare copy of catcher on
the table -richie i have told
you this before

-we are not discussing elsa
barker in this class- and
richie grins -how do you
know im talking about elsa
barker-

long pause isaacs shuts his
eyes and grits his teeth -if
you continue with this richie
im going to have to ask you
to leave-

and richie just gets up -okay
fuck it- grabs his books
strides over to the door
whips it open goes out then
slams it behind him

isaacs opens his eyes and
relaxes his jaw -okay then
back to salinger- and frejean
goes -what an asshole- super
loud and

some guys laugh and isaacs
face tightens again -frejean-
and he goes -yeah- and
isaacs says -shut up-

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

again the words are huge and
hard to miss again right on
the brick wall leading to the
cafeteria

-APRES MOI LE DELUGE-
in those same thick curvy
black spray painted letters
and its weird because even
though

its exactly the same as last
time its different too cuz
whoever did it //richie// had
to go over the letters a bunch
more times

cuz of the cold and the letters
are thicker and not as clear as
they were last time even
though they contrast with the
snow

i think mostly cuz theyre in
exactly the same place which
was sandblasted and
everything so its like less
vivid

but of course we all still see
the wall on the way to
school in the morning and
everyones talking about it for
awhile

but nobody speaks french so i
tell some of the guys that it
means -after me the flood-
but they dont know what that
means

and honestly neither do i so at
lunch im sitting with glass
eye reading as usual and
richie comes up and throws
himself down

into one of the chairs and
doesnt even bother
acknowledging glass eye -so
do you know what it means
dee dee- and i go

-what the wall- and he nods
i go -it means after me the
flood in english but i dont
know like what it means
means-

richie shrugs -louis the
fifteenth said it a million
years ago and some people
still argue if he meant that

-after me the revolution
comes which would be like
prophetic and true but you
gotta wonder why hed be
happy about that

-and the other interpretation
is that he was saying let it all
come down cuz ill be dead
anyway and i dont care what
happens

-after me- and i look at him
and ask -which one did you
mean- and he smiles
-neither really i just thought
it sounded cool-

my turn to shrug -i guess- he
goes on -whats a lot more
interesting is that this time
theres no discussion of it you
know

-cuddy didnt pull us outside
for the lecture or anything
like that- and im like
-maybe they dont care
anymore-

richie shakes his head
-doubtful- and it occurs to me
-maybe they dont wanna like
give you the satisfaction you
know-

and he thinks for a second
-maybe so dee dee maybe so
doesnt matter really cuz
pretty soon they wont be able
to ignore me

-even if they want to- and im
like -what the hell does that
mean- and he gets up -dont
worry about it come to my room

-tonight ive got some stuff to
give you- and im confused
but i go -okay- anyway

so that night i go to richies
room and hes sitting on the
bed like waiting for me with
this stack of books

and he smiles and slaps his
knee -dandle on over here
youngster and learn at the
feet of yr elder-

and i go -yr my elder by like
what 8 months richie- and
he shakes his head -matters
not

-for you have much to learn
and time is growing short-
and i walk over and sit next
to him on the bed

-what do you mean its just
what is it today february
school doesnt end til the
beginning of june

-and theyre not gonna
discharge either of us before
the end of the school year
you know that-

richie sighs gazes evenly at
me -look dee dee you know
how the other day i told you
that we were friends

-and it warmed yr heart in
that very special way- and i
go -fuck you- and he goes
-i know

-its hard for you sometimes
to accept the fact that
someone like me could be
friends with someone like
you-

and i sigh and get up he pulls
me back down and raises his
voice -what im trying to say
dee dee is that

-theres gonna come a time
real soon when yr not gonna
want to be my friend
anymore- my face squinches
up

and i shake my head in
disbelief -jesus what are you
talking about are you ever
gonna make sense again-

richie shrugs -im not trying
to be dramatic or anything
but eventually you arent
gonna want to be friends with
me anymore-

i put my hand on his shoulder
and look deep into his eyes -i
dont want to be friends with
you now

-so stop worrying about later-
and he nods closed mouth
then goes -its okay yr in
denial

-thats all right- then hands
me this stack of like 8 books
-these are like this is the base
curriculum

-for not becoming a robot
like the others- and i take the
books and look through them
and some of them

ive heard of like naked lunch
and valis the phillip k dick
book that i was looking at
before and theres

a comic book called the
invisibles and the others are
like philosophy textbooks but
theres also

that letters from a living dead
man book by elsa barker that
richie showed isaacs but the
one that really gets my
attention

is cult psychology and the
perception of freedom by
stanislaw krol and i hold it up
to richie and go

-do you really want to lend
this out cuz i know how rare
it is- and richie shrugs and
says

-ive gotten everything out of
it im going to its cool- but
im like -what if im like
reading it at lunch

-and i get nacho cheese on it
or something- and he goes
-well then id have to kill you-
and i say

-well then i probably
shouldnt take it- and richie
scoffs -just dont read it at
lunch you smackhead-

and i sit there for a minute
looking at it then im like
-thanks- and he says -dont
thank me just make sure you
read them

-cuz otherwise the chances of
you becoming a robot are still
pretty high although yr
proximity to me may have
temporarily

-inoculated you against the
robot virus- and then i just
blurt -are you going to kill
yrself- just like that and he
laughs

but its almost nervous
laughter -dee dee why
would you even ask me that-
and im like -you know like
in health class

-when they tell you that if yr
friend is like suicidal hell be
giving away all his stuff cuz
you know

-he thinks he wont need it
anymore- and richie laughs
again -do i seem depressed
to you dee dee-

and i look away -no but-
and he smiles -then dont
worry about it- and i go -but
you just said

-all that creepy shit about
how soon im not gonna want
to be yr friend- and he says
-well look at it logically

-if i was gonna kill myself
why would i care if you
wanted to be my friend or
not-

and he waits for me to
respond -see- but then i go
-but why would you even say
that stuff-

and he goes -okay bad joke
just forget all that and read
the books cuz thats the
important thing-

and im like -okay i guess
but thats still pretty weird
youve gotta admit- and he
winces and responds

-look im 16 ive got all these
weird chemicals going off
inside my brain like 24/7

-not everything im gonna say
is gonna make sense does
everything you say make
sense- and im like

-you know it doesnt- and he
points over at me -ahh ha-
and i end up taking the books
and going

but ultimately something
about this exchange just
doesnt convince