Friday, July 31, 2009


Hey! This young lady Jia Hui is translating the keitai shousetsu Koizora over here at - check it out. Koizora isn't high art or anything, but you'll be able to see pretty quick why I fell in love with the format. Also, it corrected my spelling of shousetsu, which I believe is the most accurate or at least the spelling most often used by folks in the know.

RICHIE - CHAPTER FIFTEEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

getting back to fairview is
weird its not like i had some
super-great time at my
parents or anything like that

but its like i miss it at home

already even though im kind
of glad to be back at fairview
in this way that i completely
cannot explain

but mostly im just pretty

bummed out that greg was
the only guy i really hung out with
the whole time i was there

i mean no one else
called me back at all or
whatever and that pretty
much sucked so when

i go back up into the dorm

richies back and i hang out
with him for awhile and thats
pretty cool cuz hes not being
a dick

and we talk about how weird

home was and how no one
would hang out with me cuz
of the gun thing and it comes
to my mind

that richie totally did not give

a shit about the gun thing at
all which was awesome and
even though hes a creep in
other ways

i guess i am too or whatever

so hes talking about his time
at home and how he didnt
hang out with anybody either
and it was lonely

and strange and he doesnt
talk about his parents at all

except to say that they hardly
exist anymore which is fine
with him

and i think about how my

folks really arent there at all
either but im still not totally
cool with that but then again

im not sure what i do want

cuz if they were in my shit all
the time id probably freak out

the most surprising thing is

that richie goes -this may
sound weird but i think that
maybe we should

-like try to make more

friends- and thats kind of
what i was feeling too but i
totally didnt expect that from
richie and i tell him

and he goes all sheepish like

he got caught doing
something -yeah i know but
its like you know i totally

-get sick of just hanging out

with you all the time- and im
like –thanks- and he goes –no
no i know you get sick of me

and i say -yeah totally

especially when you say shit
like that- he scoffs -its not
about that its more like just

-trying harder everybody

here cant be a total
smackhead you know- and
im like

–what happened to you over

break that made you come
back all like mary poppins-

he sighs -idk i just thought

maybe that theres a way to be
like healthier you know-
shrugs -idk- so i go

-okay lets try to be like

more social justin can be
pretty cool- and richies like
-the kid with the hair- and he
makes this big

swooping motion over his

face and im like -yeah- and
he goes -well i mean yeah
we gotta try right itll be like
an experiment-

so we go through school and

stuff the next couple of days
and i can see that richies
trying really hard

not to be as much of an

asshole like in class he
doesnt call guys out on
being dumbasses as much

and in the dorm he starts

hanging out in the common
room more even though he
just reads and doesnt say

so the one night the 40s are

out and guys are taking hits
off the bong and theres this
time travel movie on the
flatscreen and

guys start talking about time

travel and richie puts his
book down for like the first
time ever and listens

and im drinking with justin

on one of the couches and
frejean blurts out totally
baked -time travel would be

big bald tyshawn goes
–hells yes go back to the 60s

do nothing but smoke weed
trip balls and get my dick

frejean responds -id go back

to gladiator times thats my
favorite shit get me a big-ass
sword some slave bitches
some wine

-pretty sweet son- then

richie suddenly cuts in -you
cant go back in time- and all
of them look over at him
kind of shocked

that he even talked frejean

scoffs -no shit sherlock but
fuckin what if you know
fuckin what if- richie throws
his arm over

the back of the chair hes in

and goes -no no i mean you
can absolutely travel in time
no doubt you just cant go

-you can only travel forward

in time- blank stoned looks
in return richie hikes himself
up in the chair -time is a
river right it just keeps
flowing along

-but as soon as you notice a

moment its past you it
flowed by you the past isnt
behind us its way out in front
of us far far away-

tyshawn takes a sip off his 40

-so if you cant go back in
time how do you travel

richie smiles -well you

know were actually
travelling forward in time
right now and now and-
points -now-

frejean scowls -aw fuck you

man thats all you got- richie
shakes his head -naw im just
being a dick- and im kind of
amazed by that

-to travel forward in time all

you ultimately have to do is
somehow get out of the river
of time out of the flow of

-and just wait for time to pass

by you and then like jump
back in- he shrugs -you just
have to find a way out of the
flow which is a bitch-

this kid tyler all glassy-eyed

murmurs -yr kind of
blowing my mind right now-
frejean actually seems

- so what could take

somebody out of the time
stream- and richie goes
-well death- frejean scowls


-no doubt fuckhead- and

richie leans in hard -no listen
what if death takes you out
but you find a way to stay
aware after death

-what if you stay you and

you come back in the future
just in a different body with a
different name- richie shakes
his head in amazement

-wouldnt that be like

travelling in time- tyshawn
turns and points at richie
accusingly -i got

-no idea what yr talking

about right now dude none-
and richie just gets up shrugs
at me with his hands open
and leaves

tyshawn and frejean go back

to talking about fucking past-
bitches and i help justin
finish the 40 and head back to
my room

so pretty much the next day

me and richie get together
and make an informed
decision that our experiment

was a miserable failure and

that we should steal another
car as soon as humanly