"SNAKELAND MUST BE DESTROYED!": SCENE TWENTY-THREE

* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. – JG *

EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE NORTH PARKING LOT – DAY

Hoover and Caitlin walk away from the madding crowd and sit over to the side on a concrete barrier. The PA plays innocuous pop music while the next band gets set up. The song changes to “The Ghost In You” by Psychedelic Furs as they begin talking.

CAITLIN

So! You guys were really good! I

didn’t think you were gonna be that

great...I mean, no offense, but you

don’t even have a drum kit...

HOOVER

Well, yeah, it is weird, I guess. But

Maureen Tucker from the Velvet Under-

ground played like that so...I figured

it was cool.

CAITLIN

I never heard of them, but maybe I would’ve

if you had made me that mixtape!

Caitlin grabs his hand and shakes Hoover, who laughs, but she doesn’t let go and neither does he. They sit for a moment, holding hands.

HOOVER

I would’ve made you one but I never

thought someone as amazing as you

would want a mixtape from someone

like me.

CAITLIN

(shakes her head)

Why do you always put yourself down?

HOOVER

(looks her in the eye)

I don’t know.

They kiss, tentatively at first, then with real teenage passion. This is Hoover’s first real kiss, and Caitlin isn’t too far removed herself. They lose themselves; the music rises. Suddenly the mood is broken by DANNY, a Head.

DANNY

Hey, Mike, why do you think that a

girl would want to kiss a faggot like that?

Guerrasio, Danny and 4 other Heads walk over. Hoover and Caitlin stop kissing.

HOOVER

Goddammit!

GUERRASIO

I don’t know, maybe she’s a lesbian!

The other Heads laugh.

HOOVER

That doesn’t even make sense...

CAITLIN

(yells)

Hey! Why don’t you assholes go find

something to do!

Hoover winces. Guerrasio laughs ruefully.

GUERRASIO

I’ll slap your face for you, bitch.

CAITLIN

Ha! I’d like to see you try.

GUERRASIO

I’ll do it, bitch. You just watch me.

HOOVER

That’s it.

Hoover stands up, a man possessed, and walks up to Guerrasio and punches him directly in the face. Guerrasio shakes it off after a moment, his face become a mask of animal cruelty.

HOOVER

Oh, shit.

Guerrasio begins whaling on Hoover, who fights back the best he can. The other Heads cheer, and suddenly the Misery Kid, D-Man and Griffin run over with a bunch of other Punks. Soon more Heads join the fray, and there is a crazy melee of Punks and Heads fighting all over the parking lot. “In A Hole” by the Jesus and Mary Chain erupts on the soundtrack.

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INTERIOR – NEEDLE TRAX – DAY

Jim looks up suddenly from the receipts he is tabulating.

JIM

It’s time.

He grabs a cassette tape and runs out the door, locking it behind him.

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EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE NORTH PARKING LOT – DAY

The Kid jumps up on the roof of a car to jump right off it onto some Head with a flying elbow drop.

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INTERIOR – JIM’S CAR – DAY

Jim speeds along a Fallsville street, pounding the dashboard.

JIM

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon...

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EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE NORTH PARKING LOT – DAY

D-Man is chased by 3 Heads this way then that around a full bike rack.

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INTERIOR – JIM’S CAR – DAY

Jim peels into the Fallsville North parking lot, right into the midst of the battling Punks and Heads.

JIM

Okay, here we go...

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EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE NORTH PARKING LOT – DAY

Jim stops the car and opens both doors wide, then presses “Play” on his car stereo. Immediately, Metallica’s cover of “Last Caress” by the Misfits comes screaming out of the car’s speakers. Slowly, everyone stops fighting to just listen. Even Guerrasio, who has Hoover in a headlock, stops and marvels at the power and the glory.

GUERRASIO

That’s the best Metallica song I’ve

ever heard.

HOOVER

That’s a Misfits song!

Guerrasio grimaces and pushes Hoover away. All the assorted Punks and Heads nod along with the amazing music, some punching their fists, some starting to rock back and forth on their heels. By the time that phenomenal break comes and then the music slams back in, all the Punks and Heads are headbanging and slamdancing as a single great mass. They have truly Come Together. Then the song ends.

JIM

Okay, now that we’ve all found something

we can agree on, we’ve got some stuff to

discuss. I need all of you to meet me over

at Needle Trax as soon as you can get

there.

The Heads and Punks look around at each other, measuring Jim’s words.

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"SNAKELAND MUST BE DESTROYED!": SCENE TWENTY-TWO

* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. – JG *

( SCENE MISSING )

"SNAKELAND MUST BE DESTROYED!": SCENE TWENTY-ONE

* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. – JG *

INTERIOR – HOOVER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Although we begin in Hoover’s bedroom, this scene is to be a montage of everyone getting read for Fall-Fest. On the soundtrack, “Close To Me” by the Cure plays. Hoover stands in his boxers before his bedroom mirror and extends his arms up in a Bowie-as-Ziggy-Stardust pose with accompanying pout.

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INTERIOR – JACKIE’S BEDROOM – DAY

Like Hoover, Jackie is in front of her bedroom mirror wearing a fluffy blue bathrobe. She attempts a seductive expression while extending her shapely leg as if she were Claudette Colbert trying to flag a ride in “It Happened One Night”.

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INTERIOR – D-MAN’S BEDROOM – DAY

D-Man is leaning over an oversized book on punk rock, turned to a big picture of Sid Vicious sneering. D-Man attempts to replicate the sneer, at one point using his hands to try to shape his mouth into the right position.

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INTERIOR – CAITLIN’S BEDROOM – DAY

Caitlin sings to herself using a hand mirror, strutting around as if she were Cherie Currie, using the mirror simultaneously as an audience and microphone.

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INTERIOR – MISERY KID’S BEDROOM – DAY

The Misery Kid puts on a Joy Division “Love Will Tear Us Apart” t-shirt, then looks at himself, pulls it back and forth, sighs and looks unsatisfied.

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INTERIOR – CAITLIN’S BEDROOM – DAY

Caitlin puts on her black leather jacket with her back to the camera, pauses, then suddenly turns her head back as if someone called out her name.

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INTERIOR – HOOVER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Hoover smoothes out his clothes and exhales very slowly. He does a fake tap-dance for a minute, then stops abruptly. He smiles – the effect is just what he was looking for. He turns and leaves.

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INTERIOR – MISERY KID’S BEDROOM – DAY

The Kid, still looking unsatisfied, throws up his hands and immediately puts on his black skeleton sweater. He looks in the mirror, smiles, confident and satisfied. “Close To Me” fades from the soundtrack.

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INTERIOR – D-MAN’S BEDROOM – DAY

D-Man has his bass around his neck and is playing it furiously, sneering as hard as he possibly can.

HOOVER

(off-screen)

Hey, Damien! Let’s go! We’re gonna

be late!

D-Man immediately goes limp, trudges out of his bedroom, head bowed, with the bass still around his neck.

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