RICHIE - CHAPTER FOUR (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shosetsu)

the videogame is called
pimptastic 2 and its totally
against the rules of fairview
to play it

but its also totally against the
rules to smoke weed and
download broadband internet
porn and drink 40s but

no one ever gets in trouble
for any of that stuff either so
as soon as staff leaves at
around 930 they break it out

so everyone feels all
rebellious and stuff and
giggly when the call goes
down the hallway

-ARE YOU READY FOR
THIS- in a death metal growl
just like on the opening
screen of the game

and it gets pulled out from
under some mattress and
plugged into the g5 which is
attached to the 52 inch
flatscreen

and then theres a big pissing
contest for whos gonna play
and the two winners grab the
controllers

and take their places on
opposite sides of the split
screen while me and the other
also-rans

hunker down on the couches
in the back to watch and trash
talk and break balls and
jockey for next

this kid justin huddled next to
me both of us trying
desperately not to touch each
other

says to me through a curtain
of hair -have you ever gotten
to play this thing- and i say

-hell i never even played
pimptastic 1- and justin is
genuinely shocked

-really its great i mean this
one is much better there
werent any real cheats on the
first one except the sex one

-and you could only kill the
other pimps- and i go -hm-

and he goes -yeah kinda
limited but this ones just sick
you can have sex with the
whores or kill them and

-if you figure it out you can
give the pregnant one a
coathanger abortion- and he
says the last two words

like he was saying -christmas
morning- and it would be
almost sweet if it wasnt
completely insane

then richie walks into the
common room doorway
looks over and kinda scowls
at me and i dont know why

but the game starts with some
wukkachukka guitar and then
were on the street and the
pimps are pimp walking and
pimp slapping

and frankie frejean on the left
side starts to try and turn out
a new whore so hes got her in
this motel room

and hes doing her and theres
this colored line like the
lifeline that goes up and up as
hes doing her and

i guess its like the excitement
line or something and if you
can make her come then she
joins your stable

so he makes it and everybody
goes nuts and i hear richie
clear his throat and he goes
-hey frejean-

and frankie doesnt respond
just keeps hitting the g5
controller and glaring at the
screen and richie goes

-hey frejean not bad ever
make a real girl come- and
frankie doesnt look back just
throws a middle finger in the
air behind him

and i look back and richies
smiling now -no really im
serious you did a great job
and all but did you ever make
a girl come

-without a g5 controller- and
frejean drops it turns and
whips a half full coke can at
richies head and he ducks

and it whizzes past
harmlessly into the hallway
and richie bobs back up
smiling -got my answer-

and somebody shouts -jesus
frankie look out- and frejean
turns back grabs the
controller mutters
obscenities

and richie leans in the
doorway looking smug and
justin says to me between
sips off his 40 ounce

-that guys a dick- pauses
-but you hang out with him
sometimes right- and i shrug
and go -yeah sometimes

-sometimes i wonder why-
and justin scoffs and goes
-no doubt- and i look back to
the game and now the scenes
shifted

to some dingy room in a slum
somewhere and frejeans pimp
is beating up one of his
whores i dont know why

but every time his pimp
punches the whore with his
pixilated fist her pixilated
head snaps back

and on the audio track theres
a digitized crack and a high
pitched -oh- and as it repeats
and repeats with every punch

it becomes a digital rhythm
track like any other crack
after crack -oh- after -oh-
beat beat beat beat beat beat

and all of the other boys are
shouting some pumping their
fists i see richie in the
doorway face wooden not
smiling

and someone shouts -use the
cane- and i laugh -use the
cane- cuz i cant believe it
can go any deeper than this

and frejeans thumbs are a
blur on the controller and his
pimp wavers in position 2 or
3 times onscreen before he
reaches down and

grabs a pixilated cane with a
diamond head raises it with
both hands and brings it
down on the whores head

slightly louder digitized crack
slightly louder -oh- and a
pixilated spray of blood
appears and disappears right
after the hit

and all the boys go -ooooh-
like that and the whores
lifeline drops into the red
and im totally into it

and i go -jesus- and i cant
even believe i say it but i do
-have you had enough bitch-

everyone explodes in
laughter and justin punches
me in the shoulder and i see
richie out of the corner of my
eye

just leave without saying
anything and then frejean hits
the combination one last time

and the cane falls and the
whore dies and a round of
applause follows and then its
new players and

justin shares his 40 with me
which is cool but after awhile
it gets kind of boring to
watch it all again

and my stomach kind of hurts
and i dont really wanna see
the coathanger thing so i just
basically go to bed