RICHIE - CHAPTER SEVEN (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shosetsu)

-well what immediately
springs to mind is why are we
on the roof–

richie looks up at the sky
-receptions better besides its
cooler up here you think–
and i go

-its definitely colder- and he
makes a retardy face -har dee
fuckin har- bends over the
speaker

attaching wires in the back i
look up -its nice to be able to
check out all the stars-

richie stands up -yeah itd be
even clearer if we could get
rid of those- points to the arc
lights in the quad

then makes a gun with his
thumb and index finger and
shoots them out with a
-blaow-

i start shivering -okay so
again were up here because-
wait for him to fill in the
blank and he smiles

-were gonna look for the
mysteries that still exist
somewhere out there on the
airwaves- and taps the radio
receiver with his foot

-why bother doing all this we
already get satellite radio in
all the dorm rooms- and
richie goes -i dont

-mainly because it sucks and
its totally pre-programmed
and predictable and sterile
and theres no mystery about
it at all

-besides which- he makes a
disgusted face -i had to get
you away from that g5
bullshit- turns to me

-what was that anyway have
you had enough bitch- he
says it shaking his head -did
you think that was cool dee
dee-

i look at my sneakers -it was
just idk something i said-
and he goes on -do you think
theyre gonna like you now-

laughs -let you play their
reindeer games- and im just
-whatever richie- and i
gesture to the receiver
-where did you

-even find this thing- and he
rocks back on his heels -it
was in with a bunch of stuff
from science class storage-

i go -they keep that over
here- and hes -mm-hm you
just need to know where to
look- and hunkers down

starts fiddling with the dials
-so what did you do break
in- and hes all -of course-

-why you couldve gotten
busted for nothing- and he
looks over his shoulder at me
-didnt you ever see a locked
door and want to know

-what was inside what kind
of secrets it kept inside- and
im all -um no not at all-
and he turns back to the radio

-well thats where you and i
differ locked doors are like
a personal affront to me- a
loud squawk comes out the
speakers

richie leans in begins making
minute shifts to the dial -here
we go- and after a moment

a mans voice emerges from
the speaker deep and
resonant and authoritative

-one-zero-zero-three-seven-
and the slight echo on the
voice intensifies on –seven-
and then it goes on

-eight-two-four-four-zero-
and richie stands up and
smiles at me and im like

-what what is it- and he goes
like gleefully -i dont know
no idea spies aliens a
weather report couldnt tell
you

-you hear that echo thats like
deeper when he says –seven-
and i listen again and go
-yeah- and he goes -yeah

-no idea what that is none is
it a recording accident or to
stress the –seven- in the
series to whoevers listening
and probably writing it down

-i dont know this goes on for
hours almost every night its
a mystery all right- and i just
look at him like -wow

-if thats really all we came up
here for- and he looks down
at the radio disappointed
-well that really should be
enough dee dee

-but ill see what else i can
find to entertain you- and
hunkers down in front of the
dial and starts moving it back
and forth

and for the most part its like
creepy christian broadcasting
or sports talk but then he
finds something else melting
into big band jazz but it
eventually

resolves itself into a girl
singing and playing a fuzz-
tone guitar and i lean in -is
this like a real station-

and he shushes me listening
intently and she keeps
singing -here in surf city life
is hard no god or
government to bring me
down

-mister president yr bionics
dont work no more i can no
longer see through yr hollow
plastic eye- and the guitar
gets louder but then

it gets overridden by the big
band music which comes
blaring in super loud and im
like -get her back get her
back- and richie

immediately drops to his
knees and starts moving the
dial back and forth but after a
couple of minutes sits back in
defeat -yup we lost it

-too bad too that was a good
song- and im like -what was
it called- and he looks at me
like im an idiot -dee dee

-i have no idea i was hearing
it for the first time too- and i
just shrug -those lyrics were
crazy i wanted to look them
up

-see if she was saying what i
thought she was saying- and
richie just smiles at me
-youll never know- and i just
shrug again and he

drops back down in front of
the receiver -im gonna
switch to am sometimes i
have some luck at the far
ends of the dial-

and he starts playing with the
dial again and except for the
tinny high end buzz its
basically the same stuff

guys talking about sports or
jesus and old swing music
that my grandparents would
put on sometimes

but then richie finds this guy
speaking spanish in a really
smarmy voice and he turns
up the volume

and goes -the spanish
stations are pretty cool you
can hear some weird things
on here sometimes- and
settles back to listen

so i sit back too and theres
some pretty basic salsa stuff
that doesnt do anything for
me and a bunch of ads

all in spanish and the smarmy
guy comes back on and im
about to ask richie to keep
looking when theres this

crazy blast of mariachi horns
and it resolves into a big
stomping beat and some
distorted flamenco guitars
and richie goes –aha- and

turns it up and it becomes
like an old 80s rap song but
with the crazy guitars and
horns and the words are all

in spanish of course except
for the occasional rhyme in
english like –motorola- and
–pepsi cola-

and richie jumps up and starts
stomping around the roof all
stiff legged like a
frankenstein monster and i
laugh

and i get up to watch him and
the mix breaks down into the
flamenco guitar acoustic this
time and the spanish guys
are

rapping the same thing in
spanish over and over again
as it builds up and builds up
and then theres this crazy
blast of mariachi horns

and richie points at me and
screams –dee dee- just as the
beat comes slamming back
and i just spaz out into this
ridiculous rave dance

and richie is like
goosestepping all around me
in a circle and i start laughing
and he laughs too and then
suddenly it screeches to a halt

and richie goes –well that
was awesome- but i shush
him and run over to the
speaker to listen because the
smarmy guy is talking again

and im squatting waiting for
like the band name or the
song title but i cant sort
anything out and then the
salsa starts up again

and i sit back like -shit- and
richies all -what- and i go –i
wanted to find out the name
of that song so i could maybe

-find the mp3 somewhere and
uh you know- and richies
smiling like -what- and i go
–so i could post it on my
blog-

and richie laughs -youve got
a blog- and im all -yeah-
and he goes -sweet cant wait
to read it- and i just sigh and
he walks over and says

-dee dee if you found that
song youd just post it on yr
blog or stick it on yr ipod or
whatever and in a week

-youd be as bored with it as
you are with every other
goddamn song in the world-
and i look up at him and he
smiles

i shake my head and laugh
then he hugs himself and
shivers -jesus what are we
doing up here its fucking
freezing-