"SNAKELAND MUST BE DESTROYED!": SCENE TWENTY-ONE

* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. – JG *

INTERIOR – HOOVER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Although we begin in Hoover’s bedroom, this scene is to be a montage of everyone getting read for Fall-Fest. On the soundtrack, “Close To Me” by the Cure plays. Hoover stands in his boxers before his bedroom mirror and extends his arms up in a Bowie-as-Ziggy-Stardust pose with accompanying pout.

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INTERIOR – JACKIE’S BEDROOM – DAY

Like Hoover, Jackie is in front of her bedroom mirror wearing a fluffy blue bathrobe. She attempts a seductive expression while extending her shapely leg as if she were Claudette Colbert trying to flag a ride in “It Happened One Night”.

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INTERIOR – D-MAN’S BEDROOM – DAY

D-Man is leaning over an oversized book on punk rock, turned to a big picture of Sid Vicious sneering. D-Man attempts to replicate the sneer, at one point using his hands to try to shape his mouth into the right position.

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INTERIOR – CAITLIN’S BEDROOM – DAY

Caitlin sings to herself using a hand mirror, strutting around as if she were Cherie Currie, using the mirror simultaneously as an audience and microphone.

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INTERIOR – MISERY KID’S BEDROOM – DAY

The Misery Kid puts on a Joy Division “Love Will Tear Us Apart” t-shirt, then looks at himself, pulls it back and forth, sighs and looks unsatisfied.

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INTERIOR – CAITLIN’S BEDROOM – DAY

Caitlin puts on her black leather jacket with her back to the camera, pauses, then suddenly turns her head back as if someone called out her name.

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INTERIOR – HOOVER’S BEDROOM – DAY

Hoover smoothes out his clothes and exhales very slowly. He does a fake tap-dance for a minute, then stops abruptly. He smiles – the effect is just what he was looking for. He turns and leaves.

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INTERIOR – MISERY KID’S BEDROOM – DAY

The Kid, still looking unsatisfied, throws up his hands and immediately puts on his black skeleton sweater. He looks in the mirror, smiles, confident and satisfied. “Close To Me” fades from the soundtrack.

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INTERIOR – D-MAN’S BEDROOM – DAY

D-Man has his bass around his neck and is playing it furiously, sneering as hard as he possibly can.

HOOVER

(off-screen)

Hey, Damien! Let’s go! We’re gonna

be late!

D-Man immediately goes limp, trudges out of his bedroom, head bowed, with the bass still around his neck.

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