Friday, September 11, 2009

RICHIE - CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (Twitter Novel / Keitai Shousetsu)

so next morning richie slaps
me on the leg and the impact
travels in a wave all the way
up my body and stops at my

where it wakes me with this

thudding horrible ache that is
instantly worse than anything
ive ever felt before

followed by an intense

feeling of blind panic -holy
shit holy shit did you take
the car back- i attempt to sit
up on the bed

which fails completely and

then i fall slowly back to the
pillow moaning richie laughs
-yeah yeah i took it back we
didnt get caught-

my suffering abates for a

moment -good- and then he
says –i left cuddy a note on
the steering wheel thanking
him for the loan though-

im reeling and i cant tell if

hes fucking with me or not
-oh god tell me yr kidding

me- and he says -naw i didnt
write that

-i wouldnt write something

like that- and again the pain
recedes for a second he goes
on -i wrote –ah pook is here-
on a post-it

-and left that on the steering

wheel- and i cant even get
pissed anymore -whatever
man- i just roll over

then he says -i didnt come

over to tell you that i came
over to tell you what i figured
out after last night

-about what you asked me in

the car- and i just moan
-jesus christ i dont care just

leave me alone- and put my
hands over my ears

his voice becomes oddly

thoughtful -you know when
you asked me that if we are
friends i actually had to think
about that-

i take my hands away from

my head and sigh -oh great i
cant wait to hear the rest-

-no really i mean theres

gotta be some reason i hang
out with yr beaver cleaver ass

i dont say anything already

getting tired of being insulted
and hes just getting started

-what it is i think you

remind me of somebody that
i used to know that i really
liked- he stops for a minute

-or better yet i mean you

remind me of the kind of
person that person wouldve
really liked

-she was always saying i was

way too hard on everybody
except her and she wouldve
liked you a lot

-she wouldve been pissed at

me for being mean to you
and maybe she wouldve been
right so i guess we are friends-

im dizzy now -are you

talking about leander-

he shakes his head scowls
-no not at all-

//something goes off in my

brain through the fog//

-you mean jane jane tulle-


his back straightens

involuntarily stops moving
tries to laugh it off -what-

-you do jane tulle-gannett

the dead woman we went to
see her grave-

he grimaces -you fucking

smackhead she was dead
before i was even born how
would that even be possible-

i kinda laugh -i dont know

but its her i dont know how
but it is her- i laugh again
-its her i remind you of or

someone shed like

-or whatever- richie gets up

shakes his head pats the bed
-okay hungover guy get
some rest apparently you
still got a lot to sleep off-

im amazed -i cant believe i

figured it out holy shit its
jane tulle-

and he cuts me off -just shut

up you dont know what the
fuck yr talking about just
shut up and go to sleep-

walks out of the room -dont

know why i even tried to be
nice to you fucking

but im right and i know im

right and i drift back off into
fuzzy half-sleep trying to
figure out how that could
possibly be


Miss Demure Restraint said...

Fascinating … just spent the last hour reading here. It’s a bit strange reading it backwards, but now I can follow along. I just love this, so unique.

Consider me a fan.

Miss D

Mariana Soffer said...

Excelent text, thank Jason for it. I can see you change here the person who tells the story is not the same any more, that makes it more interesting to me, it is like you provided another eyes to see it, So we can have a more complete view. I also like when you say "i was way too hard on everybody
except her", I like that description of the character, cause that is how I think he was, and probably he was in love with her, that is why she was treated better by him. It makes sense.
Great text, take care Jason

Sack Posset said...

This just gets better and better. The rhythm of it generates this almost frightening sense of inexorability, of being pulled towards the conclusion, of falling head first into the unstoppable story with its tension and tenderness so palpable.

I also like the serial format. It's like the comics I read when I was younger - I used to lie in wait for the paper boy for hours, waiting for the next instalment.

Maxine said...

Finally having time to come and catch up on Richie! Going to sit down with a big mug of hot chocolate (maybe even with some rum in it)and get reading!

Paul said...

The plot thickens. I agree there is this momentum, a kind of feeling of inevitability in it like they have been sucked into a story they won't be able to control. It is simply a fantastic peice of writing, Jason, in everyway, poetical and story-telling.

Anonymous said...

wow jason, the way it weaves in and out of their heads and mine and i guess yours and evrybody elses, this saga is amazing and so unique, will be back for more!

Jason Gusmann said...

miss demure restraint - thanks for reading - so happy to see you!

mariana - yeah, that relationship kind of changes how we see richie. its interesting to develop his past, especially because it is mysterious.

sp - i'm so glad it refers back to the comics for you! comics were a real influence for me growing up, and i definitely used to wait for further installments -

maxine - rum and chocolate...mmmm. you deserve to relax after all that work! great job!

paul - dead on, as usual. it is just a matter of time before their sense of control is challenged, and goes right out the window.

tipota - the weaving is still something i'm working on in a bigger context. yr weaving skills are unquestioned, tho.

Eman said...

your Ketai S. form is wonderful, just thought I'd tell you, in some chapters it is more apparent than others, how the form is working for the story, if you know what i mean...