"SNAKELAND MUST BE DESTROYED!": SCENE ONE

* This is a fictionalized account of some shit that actually happened. All the names, locations, etc. have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. – JG *

EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE – DUSK

HOOVER, a 15 y.o. boy, walks down a seemingly deserted suburban street. His manner of dress is bizarre – Virgin Mary icon t-shirt, pajama bottoms, Doc Marten boots – but, as the Strokes’ song goes, he is tense for sure but he is confident. He has a slouchy, self-conscious stride.

HOOVER (Voice Over)

Fall, 1985 – we were standing on the verge of getting

it on. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking

about Rand Myers.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR – RAND’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

RAND, a depressed-looking 14 year old boy, carefully and deftly turns a shotgun to point towards his face. He sniffs back tears. He places both barrels in his mouth and reaches down for the trigger.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE – DUSK

A car is racing up behind Hoover.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR – RAND’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Rand closes his eyes and pulls the trigger.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE – DUSK

A hand lobs a can of beer out of the car window toward Hoover.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR – RAND’S BEDROOM – DUSK

Rand’s head explodes off-screen.

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR – FALLSVILLE – DUSK

The can misses Hoover’s head by inches and smacks down onto the road several feet away. Hoover turns toward the passing car. From inside the car, someone shouts at him.

UNSEEN HEAD #1

Punk rock faggot!

Hoover gives him the finger with both hands. The car screeches to a halt, then sits idling. Hoover grimaces.

HOOVER

What, seriously?

The car continues to sit and idle portentously. Hoover folds his arms.

HOOVER

You guys already wasted a beer on me.

(nods to beer on pavement) Do you think

it’s really gonna get better from here?

UNSEEN HEAD #2

Fuck You!

The car peels out. Hoover smiles, walks over to the beer and picks it up. It is dented but intact. Hoover carefully pulls the tab, stands back while it foams over and starts to drink it. He drains it after a little bit, smiles, belches and tosses it by the roadside. Hoover continues to walk.

HOOVER (V.O.)

I don’t know why I was thinking about Rand.

It’s not like we were close or anything, but

the weirdest things go through your head

sometimes. I guess it seemed like maybe a

harbinger of things to come. Little did I know.

CUT TO: